Yes, there is a such thing as selfish prayers.

What do your prayers sound like? Are they littered with requests for yourself and those you love? Or, are your prayers focused on the One that you're praying to?

There is a time to make requests of God. We have clear examples of making requests in prayers from scripture. But, as you pray, your heart should be drawn closer to God and praising Him. There is a reason the ACTS acrostic is so helpful in praying. It gets your heart and mind thinking about God, Who He is and what He has done for us.

• A-Adoration
• C-Confession
• T-Thanksgiving
• S-Supplication

When you spend time praising God, confessing sin and thanking Him for blessings beyond measure, your supplications change. For example, being truly thankful for the car that you have may change your request for a new one.

Another way to make sure your prayers are God centered instead of self-centered is to pray Scripture. Psalms is the easiest way to start praying God's Word back to Him. Read Praying the Bible by Don Whitney. I've said it before and it's still true. It will transform your prayer life.

Quiet Time

...Bible time, devotions, .... whatever you call it, as long as it's your time before God, it's important. It's the most vital part of your day.

A young lady asked my advice recently about my quiet time. She wanted to know how was I able to stay committed to my quiet time. It's hard some days to wake up and get started. If I didn't read my Bible every morning, I could sleep at least forty-five minutes longer.

The most important thing I learned from years of struggling over staying faithful to it was that it had to be non-negotiable. There isn't a day that goes by that I wonder if I will read my Bible or when. I was so encouraged when that same young lady came to me two weeks later and said, "I haven't missed one day!"

When I drag myself out of bed, I get a cup of coffee and sit down with my Bible. In order to leave my house on any morning it takes me a little less than two hours from waking to walking out. It's just a vital part of my morning routine.

Ray points out that for your quiet time to be successful you must have a time, place, plan and purpose.

Time - What time of the day are you going to commit? Morning seems best, but it doesn't always work for everyone. I can't imagine waiting until near bedtime to read my Bible, I'd be asleep in seconds. Read Psalm 5:3, 59:16, 88:13, 90:14, 143:8.

Place - There is something sweet about walking by a spot and knowing that's where I meet God. Over the years, depending on the season of life, my "spot" has changed. Right now this is usually my view every morning as I'm finishing up my quiet time.

Plan - Every year the plan varies. Some years, I'm reading through the Bible chronologically, sometimes reading portions of the Old Testament and portions of the New Testament, sometimes focusing on one book or portion of Scripture. The key is that it's heavy on Scripture. I plan time for praying through scripture and intercession.

Purpose - This is the most important part of the quiet time! There will be days when it seems like you're just going through the motions, but if that's all you're doing, then it will be impossible to maintain. The purpose of your quiet times must be to draw near to God, to know Him, to worship Him, to repent of sin. Read Psalm 29:2, 46:10, 96:9; Matthew 4:17.

Confronting Selfishness

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3

What is the first thing do you think when something happens? If it's how you will be effected then you may have a problem with selfishness.

But what if you sit a dwell on how you are impacted by others' actions? Then I'm pretty sure that's selfishness. Sometimes, I fall into that cycle. In my mind I try to justify myself saying I'm concerned for how others are affected- my family, the church, the lost, etc. But the truth of the matter is that I'm just plain selfish.

I want things my own way for my own convenience or comfort or pride. Even when I want things for my children's sake, it could be because of pride and selfishness. Whatever the reason, it's still sin.

Our hearts may get offended for the sake of Christ or His glory, but how often does that happen - truthfully?

It's time we put before our eyes the gospel of Christ. When I am offended by something, I must change my thinking. My default shouldn't be about how it makes me feel. When you love God and follow Him, His glory is what you must be seeking, not anyone else's.

So when things don't go my way, I have to ask, "Am I upset that I didn't get my way? Or am I bothered that Christ wasn't gloried?"

Incline my heart to Your testimonies, and not to selfish gain! Psalm 119:36

We Become Like Them

Psalm 135:15-18

The idols of the nations are silver and gold, the work of human hands. They have mouths, but do not speak; they have eyes, but do not see; they have ears, but do not hear, nor is there any breath in their mouths. Those who make them become like them, so do all who trust in them.

I came across this note scribbled in my Bible. I don't know when I wrote it, who said it, or when.

We tend to become like that which we worship.

But how do we know what it is that we worship? Well, what do you look like? What do you think about? What do you talk about? What do you spend your time on? Who do you associate with most often? What is your first thought when trouble arises?

These are some questions that might help know where your worship is focused.

Ask the people you spend the most time to play the popcorn game with you. Tell them to answer these questions about you with the first thought that comes to their minds. The answers for me may be too difficult to hear. I don't know if I want to know what they think.

John 14:15 If you love me, you will keep my commandments.

Psalm 119:93 I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have given me life. 

So, if you want life, keep the law of God.

This was the order that the verses fell in my devotional today.  I don't like to take a single verse here and there out of its context, but I could help notice the connection of these three.

I John 2:15-16 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.

And do not love this world. Because one who loves the world does not love God.

I needed this and in this order. God's Word never fails.

She's Always Listening

This was overheard while Abigail was playing with her babies this week.

Abi- you don't want to go to hell.
Baby doll- why?
Abi- because hell is a place that doesn't love God. I hope we go to heaven.
Baby- I hope so too.
Abi- you can't because you're a toy.
Baby- but I talk.







During family Bible time while the scripture was read aloud, Abi reminded us at she's always listening. This is what was read. Yes, it's not easily understood at first, but she made it a little more entertaining.

In the year that the commander in chief, who was sent by Sargon the king of Assyria, came to Ashdod and fought against it and captured it-at that time the LORD spoke by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, "Go, and loose the sackcloth from your waist and take off your sandals from your feet," and he did so, walking naked and barefoot. Then the LORD said, "As my servant Isaiah has walked naked and barefoot for three years as a sign and a portent against Egypt and Cush, so shall the king of Assyria lead away the Egyptian captives and the Cushite exiles, both the young and the old, naked and barefoot, with buttocks uncovered, the nakedness of Egypt. Then they shall be dismayed and ashamed because of Cush their hope and of Egypt their boast. And the inhabitants of this coastland will say in that day, 'Behold, this is what has happened to those in whom we hoped and to whom we fled for help to be delivered from the king of Assyria! And we, how shall we escape?'" - Isaiah 20:1-6

You probably already know that we heard the little girl giggle of a four year old, when she repeated "buttocks uncovered."

Another time Abigail responded to what she heard that wasn't so humorous to me -
She came running into the dining room looking excited and said, "Oh, you had a cheerful voice, I thought the Rinks must be here." That was convicting! I shouldn't have a cheerful voice only when my grandchildren are here.

She is taking to heart Psalm 78:1 -"Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth!"

A Strong Tower

"My ability to do this job ran out about two years ago." This was what someone said to me recently when we were discussing hardships of life. I didn't tell him that God will not give him more than he can handle. Because that's not true. At least not in the way that I've always heard it spoken.

It is not true that "God will not give you more than you can handle." He may give you so much that you wonder where He is, if He is listening or does He even care. There have been many moments in the past few years that it felt like God wasn't available for us.

There have been many times in my adult life that grief and sorrow were so strong, but I could always "feel" that God would see us through. But lately, the grief of this life has seemed overwhelming, with no help in sight.

God wants you and me to totally depend on Him. He wants us to cry to Him like the psalmist. When our heart is faint, He is the Rock that is higher than we are.

Because I know that God is sovereign and omniscient, I can rest. I don't have to "feel" like He will see me through one heartache or another. He will. I must depend on Him, rest in His care, and trust Him to help me.

He is strong enough to handle my life. He is a Strong Tower.

Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.
 Let me dwell in your tent forever! Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! Selah For you, O God, have heard my vows; you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.
 Prolong the life of the king; may his years endure to all generations! May he be enthroned forever before God; appoint steadfast love and faithfulness to watch over him!
 So will I ever sing praises to your name, as I perform my vows day after day.     Psalm 61

Hebrews 12:15

See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.

I have allowed anger and bitterness to take root too long. Nursing it as a small child, I have held on to it. Because my pride is so great, I am not sure that I even want to get rid of the sin.

Besides that, it seems easier to hang on to sin. It's easy to blame others for the sin in my heart. It is true that I've been sinned against.  But the sin against me doesn't justify my own sin. No one is to blame for me turning over and over in my mind the hurts done. I conjure up conversations that I would have, if I had the perfect opportunity. Anger and bitterness swell up, and I say things that ought not be said. And I dwell on it, set up camp on it, live with it.

I tell my children all the time, no one else is to blame for your sin. I have to listen my own teaching. I can't blame others. We are all related to Eve. She didn't want to take responsibility for her sin either.

That sinful root can spring up and cause trouble. And the sin becomes just as visible as the roots of the maple trees in my yard.

But, Jesus knows our temptations and He is able to help us.

Hebrews 2:18

For because He himself has suffered when tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted.

All of Hebrews 2 is so encouraging. I am calling on Him to help me to turn away from sin in my heart. The most practical thing that I can do when my mind wanders to sinful thoughts and practices is to focus on Philippians 4:8.

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

I Peter 4:13

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And

“If the righteous is scarcely saved,

what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?”

Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.

1 Peter 4:12-19 ESV

God has called each of us to obey Him. As we do, some will not understand that when we say no to them we are actually obeying God. As I put aside my own will for my life (and the will of others) I sense more from God than ever.  God has called each of us to do some very specific things. The basic things in life are clear -

• Love the Lord your God with all your heart
• Love your neighbor as yourself
• The Ten Commandments

But the specific things may not be so easy to see. That's when the whole Scripture is important. Read God's Word, pray without ceasing, get godly counsel, then act. When you act on what you know to be the right thing to do, you may be ridiculed, berated or even despised. Do not be surprised, but rejoice. This isn't third world suffering such as beheadings, loss of job or family, but it is a type of suffering. You are suffering according to God's will while you are doing good.

Psalm 97

Psalm 97:1

"You don't have to worry about whether your world is under control. God rules. You just have to trust him when his rule isn't evident." Paul Tripp New Morning Mercies

"Honestly facing your lack of sovereignty over your own life produces either anxiety or relief. Anxiety is God-forgetting.... God-remembering...rests in the relief that although it may not look like it, your life is under the careful control of One who defines wisdom, power, and love."

 Daniel 4:34-35

"for his dominion is an everlasting dominion,

and his kingdom endures from generation to generation."

In a particular situation in my life right now, I tend to feel hopeless and helpless. I am the kind of person who likes to fix things. When something is wrong, I get out my lists and figure out a method of repair. That obviously doesn't always work. God is kind to give me this gentle reminder. 

Psalm 97:11-12

"...rest is not to be found in your control but in God's absolute rule over everything."

Questions

Mommy, have I sinned today?

Are we going to go to heaven?

Can we pray right now?

The questions of my littlest ones never cease to amaze me. Abigail was sitting on my bed and doing some real thinking and shooting questions out with both barrels. I didn't jump up and make her pray the "sinner's prayer." But, I did pray that Jesus truly would save her from her sins, give her an abundant Christian life and bring her to heaven when He does take her home. I am reminded again the importance of memorizing Scripture.

2 Timothy 4:2 ...be ready in season and out of season...

Joshua 4:21-22 ...when your children ask... then you shall let your children know...

Revitalizing Bible Study

My Bible studies seem to go in seasons.

The cycles include things like - reading through the Bible in a year, chronological reading, in-depth study of one book, or devotional reading (usually during the busiest months). This past December, I was feeling discouraged and a little too laissez-faire about my Bible study/devotional time.

For Christmas, I received a copy of Paul Tripp's New Morning Mercies devotional book. It seems to speak the gospel in devotional bits to me every day.  I know that the gospel isn't about me, but about Christ. The devotions deliver the gospel as it relates to every day life, then add scripture to read. Every day's scripture readings include selections that I think, "Oh, I should add this to my list of scripture to memorize and meditate on."

The Praying The Bible concept is still as refreshing as I had hoped it would be. I am not recommending we abandon Bible study, but sometimes, we need a fresh breath. I can't wait to finish the that our ladies are reading together, Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin.

Praying the Bible

I just finished reading Praying the Bible by Don Whitney. We have been taught these concepts for many years, but the book was so refreshing and helpful in the method of praying Scripture. The idea is to actually use the words of Scripture to inform and guide your prayers. The last chapter was worth reading the entire book.

I started writing out one prayer recently and I was so encouraged. Here are my notes on what I was prompted to pray for in less than ten minutes.

Psalm 69

Verse 1 
- Save me, O God...
Salvation for those that are lost.
- for the waters have come up to my neck.
Help for me in the midst of this season that I feel like I don't have time to breathe.

Verse 5 
- O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from You.
What a verse that reminds me of sin that swells up in my own heart.

Verse 13 
- But as for me, my prayer is to You, O Lord, at an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in you saving faithfulness.
The sliver of the moon rising in the darkness directly in front of me, is just one reminder of God's great faithfulness. He places reminders immediately in front of us to show us that He is faithful. The sun rises, the sun sets, the moon rises, the moon sets, etc. God is faithful!

Verse 19 
- my foes are all known to you.
I don't know who my immediate enemies are, but God does. The enemies at large are those who would wipe out Christians. I struggle praying for them the verses 22 through 28, but I can pray that God's Justice would be enacted where He sees appropriate.

Verse 29 
- let your salvation, O God, set me on high.
I believe and am so grateful for my salvation. 
Please God don't let my self righteousness cause me to think more highly of myself than I ought. I could easily lift myself up to think I don't deserve any conflict, much less persecution.

Verse 30-31 
- I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving. This will please the Lord more than an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs.
I must praise God continuously and magnify Him. My works will not. I am reminded that the Lord loves obedience better than a sacrifice. (I Samuel 15:22)

Verse 33
- For the Lord hears the needy.
The needy we always have among us... The prayers of supplication could be unending.

Psalm 100

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!

  Serve the Lord with gladness!

Come into his presence with singing!

 Know that the Lord, he is God!

It is he who made us, and we are his;

we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

 Enter his gates with thanksgiving,

and his courts with praise!

Give thanks to him; bless his name!

 For the Lord is good;

his steadfast love endures forever,

and his faithfulness to all generations.

The entire Rhodes family - every child, grandchild, and in law! We really miss Ray's dad! We didn't get a family picture of my side of the family.

Does your family memorize Scripture? 

That has been by far the most encouraging thing that I have done as a parent. The younger the child, the easier it is for them to memorize. Our "Charlotte Mason Scripture memory card files" are invaluable to us and help keep 
what we've memorized fresh for years to come.

Us with Nana, and I'm not sure what caused all of this.

How to Pray Based on Psalm 5:1-8

Ray has been preaching out of the Psalms for a few months and every week I have been encouraged.  Some weeks I'm actually even able to take notes. This is the result of my notes from his sermon on this past Sunday.

I. Pray with a Passion - groaning, cry. Verse 1
The psalmist prays
- with an expectation that God will hear him.

- that God's name would be great and that the Lord is lifted up in every situation. King, God.

- for God's provision.

- to a personal God who knows your needs, heart and desires. He is my King and my God.

II. Priority of Prayer - in the morning, it's his practice. Verse 3
The psalmist

- makes his first thoughts upward to God.

- disciplined, regular routine.

- watches in faith that God is going to act.

III. Purity of prayer - Verses 4-6
God
- does not delight in wickedness, evil cannot dwell with Him.
- abhors the bloodthirsty and evil man.
(Only through Christ can anyone stand before God. Psalm 66:18 Iniquity hinders prayer life. Repent of sin which hinders prayers.)

IV. Promise of prayer - psalmist appears before God through the abundance of God's love. Verse 7
We
- cannot separate ourselves from God's presence.
- enter with humility and fear and trust, because God has made the way and provided access.

V. Petitions of prayer - Verse 8
- lead me, personally, because of my enemies and the enemies of the people of God.
- make the way straight.

Our Thanksgiving Circle at church last week

Do Not Be Easily Irritated

1 Corinthians 13:4-5- "Love is patient and kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it's own way, it is not irritable or resentful."

When I love Christ and when I love my family I will not be irritable and rude. I will not insist on my own way. When I am rude and even think I deserve more than I'm getting, I am not loving others. I am loving myself.


This verse is a verse that I pray through often because I am often easily irritated.  Just when I think I have noticed that there are some improvements, I am knocked backwards at my own sin. 

Ray has been out of town for several days and this sweet little girl hasn't left my side. She has been with me every moment - sleeping, eating, bathing, yes, even the bathroom. She made a simple request to help with something, I don't remember, but it was really very little to ask. I snapped at her and told her to go somewhere else. 

One of my daughters looked at me with shock in her eyes and said, "It really isn't that big of a deal. Here, Abigail, come help me."  I made the lame excuse that I was tired and needed a little space and sulked. 

I didn't handle my irritations well at all. There are times when mothers need to be alone to rest, recharge and renew themselves. But there is still no excuse for sin. My daughter needs my attention more right now because her daddy isn't around this week. I must put aside my irritation and love her in a kind and patient way.

She has gotten in some time teaching her babies all that they need to know. The picture to the right is of her riding in the car going to music. This is basically how she usually rides, with her "Bubby" and "Just Plain Elephant".

2 Corinthians 1:20-21

Are you making plans? I am, I have so many plans that my life could probably be an example of how NOT to schedule your days.

I am often finding myself disappointed that those plans don't work out the way I imagined. Recently, I've had trouble finding the time to get to my mom's to visit as often as I would have liked. This verse was so encouraging to me.

For all the promises of God find their Yes in him.

Paul had wanted to visit the Corinthian church but it wasn't to be. He was able to know that it was not in God's plan for him to go. He wasn't being indecisive about going, it just didn't work out for him to go. He was able to say, "Amen (so be it)."

That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.

I frequently make grand plans that include more than I know I will be able to accomplish. I have to remember Who brings those things to pass.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21

May He grant you your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans! Psalm 20:4

This clock is a special gift to me that I have planned to get hung in a very prominent place. I wonder how long it will take?

SharIng Grief

Why do we share our lives with the world? The pictures of empty rocking chairs and sick babies are heart wrenching to us and yet we share them with everyone. Our story is a testimony to God's faithfulness to his people. We are not promised a life of health and wealth. We are promised that He will see us through our storms.

Psalm 57:1-3

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.  I cry out to the God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.  He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness.

Troubles come and go. God is faithful, steadfast. We can stand strong with Him.

Not everyone chooses to share their losses with the world. That's okay, each one's grief is his own, to do with as he sees right.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, sot that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

I want to comfort others with the great hope in the Father of mercies and God of all comfort. The entire passage in 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 is so encouraging and we have found it  to be a source of great comfort over the years.

"Our hope for you is unshaken..."

"...rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead."

"... and he will deliver us again."

Who Is Your Neighbor?

I love watching how Rachel and Adrian love each other.

Have you ever been to wedding showers or other events that say write a note of advice to the bride and groom?  My response always says-

Love God more than you love spouse OR yourself.

Did you know that these verses are about marriage?

Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12:29-31

Who is our closest neighbor? Our husband. He shares every part of our lives, yet we have to be reminded how to love him.

"And so train the younger women to love their husbands..." Titus 2:4

We are so busy with loving ourselves, our children, the world and all of its trappings that we forget to love the one whom God has given us - our closest neighbor.

Little Foxes

Catch the foxes for us,
    the little foxes
that spoil the vineyards,
    for our vineyards are in blossom.

Song of Solomon 2:15

Song of Solomon has become my favorite book of the Bible in the last few years. Ray has spent some time teaching from it and he often uses it as a springboard for notes that he writes to me.

Thinking about this verse I have tried to identify some of the "little foxes" in my marriage and often think to myself, "I gave birth to the little foxes."

The girls take a lot of my time, but I also have to be honest with myself. It isn't just the girls. It's my own heart. I am easily distracted from the things that matter most. It does matter that I spend time with my children, but I can't let them get in the way of my relationship with the most important person in my life - my husband.

Because children are loud and have urgent needs, it is easy to let them invade too much into their parents' time. But as parents, we have to remember that urgent needs do not necessarily mean the most important needs.

However easy it is for me to blame my children for distracting me from my husband and his needs, I have to remember my own heart. It takes nothing for me to get side tracked and loose focus. You know the joke about the squirrel? "Oh, look, there's a squirrel!" It gets me every time. And there I am again, wondering what I was doing.

Staying close to scripture, listening to my husband and tuning out the world's noises are the best ways I know to stay in tune to my marriage. I love this picture of us because it puts into proper focus what I believe is my most important role in life - Ray's wife.