Happy New Year?

I was on the phone today with someone I love dearly who was grieving the loss of a ten year old little boy. This child was close to her family and church and had died in an accident while enjoying life with his family. She had been consoling me over now nine days of sickness in our home and I was lamely trying to console her.

Neither of us spoke of the giant cloud of another family that we both know and love in serious brokenness. Our hearts are heavy and without thinking, I said, "If we didn't serve a great, almighty God who is ruling over the universe, life would be hard."

Silence on both ends of the phone... Life IS hard.

This new year rings in to heavy weights bearing down hard on many. A family ripped apart because of unrepentant sin. Another family with a huge gaping wound at the sudden loss of a child and serious injuries to another. Families all over the world facing loss simply because they claim the name of Christ.

Years ago, I heard John Piper say something like, "If I didn't know that God was sovereign and in control, I would not be able to handle all this trouble."

Life is hard, but we do serve a Savior who is in control. At our family meal tonight, Ray asked everyone for a Bible verse that could bring in the new year. Several quoted verses about plans, God directing our steps and even a new life in Christ. The only verse that Abigail could remember was,

"And Mary said, 'My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.'"

We do have hope and we can rejoice because God is alive and well. He is the Savior and will reign triumphant.  We can face difficulties with grace because He has given us His Helper to see us through.

This week as random strangers wish you "Happy New Year," return the greeting with, "Yes, it is a Happy New Year." Maybe not a silly, slaphappy nonsense that we'll see on Times Square, but a peace and blessing kind of happy that can't be conjured up or faked.

Yes, life is hard, but we are confident that God will see us through.

Thinking About the Trials of Others

Lately, I've been more emotional than usual and have found myself tearing up more than normal. In the past few weeks the griefs of others have seemed a little more grievous.

• The death of a lost person I know is always sad, but this time it was closer than I wanted to feel.
• Someone I know and loved was imprisoned over foolishness then sent away for a year to rehabilitation from drugs and alcohol.
• Courtney moved out of town to live with and minister to her recently widowed grandmother.
• A young girl we know and love is facing trials that seem to weigh too heavy for a young lady.

A couple of weeks ago, friend and local pastor found out that the brain tumor he has had for four years is growing rapidly and the prognosis is very bad. When Ray and I visited him at the hospital he had smile on his face and kind words in his heart. He spoke of Scripture and his joy of knowing that he would be with his savior soon. He and Ray talked about a sermon entitled "Dead Man Ministering to the Dying." When our whole family went to visit them, it was so encouraging to see the whole family, five children - ages three to nineteen, worship God together. We sang hymns, read Scripture and prayed; we enjoyed conversation and laughter. Proverbs is right when it says laughter does the heart good, like a medicine. What a blessing to see a godly family facing their hardest trial with such faith!

I attended a funeral today.

Our church family cleaned and repaired a house for a disabled man in our church to move into over the weekend. He was moved into his new place on Monday. He was found dead on Wednesday. Was he prepared? I don't know. I mean, I'm sure he was a Christian, but did he know his day of death was upon him? I don't know. But I know it was a reminder to hug my family tighter and make sure that when my time comes, all I have to do is die.
I appreciate Ray's theology on death and dying. He writes here on what would have been his father's seventy-sixth birthday about dying.

A Theology to Die With

Today would have been my father-in-law's seventy-sixth birthday if he were still alive. I hope you'll click here to read the article Ray wrote about him. It's a reminder to us all that life is brief and death changes us.

Christmas Morning

After many days of being at the hospital with his dad, thanks to some sacrificial family members, Ray got to come home on Christmas Eve night and wake up at home for Christmas. We enjoyed the time like no other. This past season helped us appreciated the little moments we had together. After the worship service with our church and lunch we learned that Ray's dad had died in the afternoon on Christmas Day. It made for a somber day but we are grateful that we got to be together for that short time.

This is the extent of creativity at Christmas crafts this year. We got the idea from Lydia's music teacher and they were quite easy to make. It's powdered sugar doughnuts with mini chocolate chips for eyes and candy corn for the noses.

I just wanted to share what's been happening in our family these past few weeks. As we have struggled with the suffering of our dear father and grandfather we have been blessed beyond measure by our church family. Here is a sampling of an email sent out by Ray's fellow elder and dear friend. I can't imagine walking these days without them. Notice the use of the word - we. The church is one body.

Pastor Ray’s Dad died this afternoon. Ray will send out the funeral arrangements once they are complete. For now, please continue to pray for the family. Once the situation has solidified, I will send out some suggestions for how we may minister to them. Ray made it home last night and is with Lori and the girls today.

As you know, Rachel and Adrian’s Wedding is scheduled for Saturday, so we will have a funeral and a wedding this week. As we read this morning, God Himself will provide – Praise be to Him. We His people are often the instruments of His provision, so let us consider together how we may be of comfort and help to the Rhodes at this hour. May our faithfulness be a balm to their souls.

I trust that the Gospel has informed and deepened your Christmas experience and allowed you to minister to your families, extended families, friends, and neighbors. Remember that the shadow of the Cross lies across the Bethlehem manger and thus gives hope to the hopeless and comfort to the grieving.

Let us all look to Christ and long for His return to put an end to sin and suffering and death.

Eliza Ray Bennett

This story starts years ago, with Christy (Ray's sister) and her husband, Corey... with the miscarriage of what would have been their first child... with that kind of loss the feelings of what-could-have-been haunt a mother for the rest of her life. Fast forward to last fall.... Christy is finally pregnant again with all of the beautiful signs of pregnancy. Then at 20 weeks, the doctors tell her there is no way that the baby can live and recommend she end the pregnancy. After lots of questions, research and soul searching, Christy and Corey decide to carry the baby as long as her body could.

What unfolds after that is a weekend I'll never forget. Christy is in labor at thirty one weeks and the whole family is rushing to the hospital. When we arrived we weren't able to see Christy because she had already started pushing. In a short time Corey came out and told us the baby had been born and had been taken to the nursery. We peeked through a crack in the nursery window and watched as the doctors and nurses worked diligently on this tiny little thing.

Eliza Ray Bennett entered this world in the dark of a cold wintry night in hospital with all sounds in a hush, as if the building itself knew her struggles to breathe on her own. She weighed 3 pounds 4 ozs and was shaped as perfectly as any baby could be. Watching her precious mommy and daddy hold her while she took her last breath, two hours after her birth, was one of the hardest things I have ever seen. I watched in amazement as grandparents, aunts and uncle held her and loved her.

After touching Eliza's fragile hair, I ended up spending the rest of the night over a trash can in the waiting room. My body has a weird way with grief... bleh. The next morning, while Christy was getting ready to leave the hospital, one of the sisters helped me hold Eliza. While I held her, the thoughts of what-could-have-been flooded my own heart. Knowing that while I held her tiny shell, her precious soul was already in heaven with those of mine I've lost but never held.

The funeral service was as hard as any I've ever attended. (And I'm a pastor's wife, I've attended a lot of funerals.) The girls did the music and even though there wasn't a sound system, I thought that they had never sung more beautifully. They chose hymns that were God honoring and that have ministered to our family in the past. Rachel, Hannah, and Sarah sang The Arms That Hold the Universe to the family then played the song I Will Carry You by Selah who have experienced these same deep pains. Ray had trouble keeping his composure while he preached, but honored God with kind words of hope to those who know Christ - we will see her face again. Jesus truly loves the little children of the world.

The grief that follows Christy and Corey now is something that can never be taken away, only comforted by a Holy and Righteous God. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. Isaiah 53:3

Finalization

About ten days ago, Aunt Thelma fell and hit her head with such a force that caused a blood clot to form on her brain. Because it was so severe, there was no hope for her to live through the damage. As we sat by her bedside for the following six days, so many thoughts went through my mind. Aunt Thelma couldn't know how close she was to dying because she never regained conscientiousness. But she was prepared. Years ago, she told Ray of how she talked to Jesus and waited for Him to take her to heaven. It was a sweet time for me to know that she was slipping closer and closer to heaven and would be at peace with her Savior. Her body would work with no pain and her mind would be perfectly clear. The girls got to visit and sing her favorite hymns one last time while she was in the hospital. I have a lot of respect for Ray's mother and father who cared for her so diligently and were with her until her dying breath. As our family went through this process I hope we were all sobered to think of our last moments on this earth and know that we will be prepared to meet Jesus when we die.
The funeral was a finalization of sorts for me. The process of grief over losing the baby and the feelings of guilt for not being able to take care of Aunt Thelma after the miscarriage were very strong. Our home has returned to its usual chaos. It is a blessing to be back to our "routine" of homeschooling, church, and ministry responsibilities. I know God had a purpose for the times that Aunt Thelma was with us and for the loss of this baby. He is faithful and whatever He does is good. Though these were deep valleys for me to cross, I will look at this past year a spiritual mountaintop experience.

Death is Not Dying

I came home one morning from being out for several hours. I found that Rachel had set up a computer at lunch for the girls to watch this video. When I came in I was glad that she was concerned with their spiritual growth and listened in a little here and there. Since then it has been all over the internet world and we actually showed it at our church prayer time last night. It is moving to see how a young wife and mother can glorify God in her circumstances. She is quick to point out that what is happening to her is not about her, but about God. Take the time to watch and think about what God has called her to do, and how you can glorify God in what He has called you to do.

Homeward Bound

I have finally finished reading Homeward Bound by Edward Hartman. There are reasons it took so long, and neither have to do with the content. It was GREAT! Since Aunt Thelma moved in my reading time has been reduced dramatically.
The main reason it took so long to read is the sermon that made up a third of the book written by William Perkins entitled "A Salve for a Sicke Soul". Perkins examines every aspect of man being ready to die. He gives an amazing argument for the sinner to awaken to his need for a savior now, because the sting of death is so uncertain. Perkins lived in the late 1500's and wrote like most Puritan authors - above my thinking. As I read and reread each portion I had to continuously whisper in my heart, "O Lord, please prepare me and those I love for that imminent day."
The first part of the book was about the death of Hartman's first wife and how their family dealt with that. His practise of family worship confirmed everything we believe about the need to gather your family around God's Word often. He and his children were prepared to hand his wife and their mother over to the hands of God because they had such a high view of God and His ways. I was brought to tears reading about how God brought Hartman's second wife to love his family as her own and give herself over to God's will for her life.

Christmas Letter 2007

The Christmas season has been marked by all the usual aspects of the holidays –church, trees, decorating, baking, shopping, lights, friends, and family—busy, busy, busy. Yet the holidays came to a halt last week when Ray’s ninety-three-year-old grandmother died. We have often said that when someone dies, we should pause and reflect on our own immortality. As we went through this time of grief, we reflected on Nanny’s life of love and family and our own responsibility to live a life prepared before God. Mankind was to be prepared for His coming in the form of a man. Now we are to be living our lives in such a way as to point others to our Savior in preparation for the day in which we will meet Him in eternity. There is a time coming when every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord. Our prayer for you this holiday season is that you might reflect on your own life as you examine your heart to see if Christ is your Lord.

This year marked some big events in our family. Rachel graduated from high school and spent a month in Honduras on a mission trip. She is now learning the violin and Spanish, helping our family at home and doing some coaching while she contemplates the future. Hannah spent three months on the reserve list for a hip injury, but is now back on the basketball court. Besides home-schooling this year with future hopes of joint enrollment at North Georgia College, Hannah is spending a lot of time with the guitar and piano. Sarah is wrapped up in the world of home-schooling, reading and basketball, and has mastered a left handed dribble. (She is right handed.) Sarah is learning to crochet and play the flute. Mary has learned a wealth of information about chickens and is now selling eggs. Ray built a small chicken coop in our back yard and she is gathering fifteen to eighteen eggs a day. Lydia found out that when you turn four years old in our household, life changes. You must be a big girl and start chores and keep all tempers under control. (We are all still working on the last one). And just in case there is anyone who hasn’t heard – Ray published his first book this year. Family Worship for the Christmas Season came out in October and, within two months, was the best selling book for Solid Ground Publishers for all of 2007. Three more books are planned in a series of family worship books. If you would like to keep up with family goings on check out our blog at www.nitw4ladies.blogspot.com.

Merry Christmas from the Rhodes Family

And Lori, who is still lying around eating bon-bons and reading magazines.

Something I Learned from Mama

You should always go to weddings and funerals. I am always glad I did. This week was no exception.
A dear lady of 93 years old died "unexpectedly" and her funeral was held on Tuesday. Mrs. Ostine had twelve children, 35 grandchildren, 25 great-grandchildren, and 5 great-great-grandchildren. The church was packed as a testimony to how her children rose up and called her blessed. One of her grandsons (who is also a pastor) read from her journal and the words "God is so good to us" kept ringing out loud and clear. As he read accounts of the deaths of her parents, husband and a daughter she would finish her entry with "God is so good." When he read of her house burning on a Saturday evening and having enough clothes to go to church on Sunday (the very next day!) she finished with "God is so good." Mrs. Ostine wanted to leave a legacy of faith to her children. She did not fail. Those children have no excuse of not knowing who God is and what He requires of us. The gospel of Christ was preached in their mother's daily walk with Christ as well as at the funeral.
The picture above is of Sarah with Mrs. Ostine last Easter. Mrs. Ostine, who had a wonderful mind and kept reading until her death, was diligent to remember my own children along with her own large family.

Death Comes

I have started this article several times and even finished it once, but for some reason never published it.

Every time we pull over to the side of the road for a funeral procession, Ray says, "Any time someone dies we should all pause to think about eternity." Last year we attended several funerals - my father's and an elderly couple who died within a week of each other. This week our family will attend the memorial service of our friend Tom Jarrard (known at our home as Peepaw). These are the times to pause and think of how we will spend eternity and the witness we will leave behind. Now is the time to tell your children of the fiery pits of Hell and the glories of Heaven. Don't wait until you think they are 'old enough' to handle such things. Death is certain, timing is not. Though Mr. Jarrard had time to contemplate through his suffering, we are not guaranteed any warning. In fact, it's just the opposite.

As we have been talking about funerals and such this week, we have learned that our teenage daughters have friends who have never attended a funeral. You may think it's nice that they haven't had to deal with such a loss. Though I don't want our girls to be saddened in that way, I want them to see the stark reminder of our brevity on this earth. Because Ray is a pastor we have attended a lot of funerals where we aren't particularly close to the deceased. Though there are some crazy stories behind some of these events, our children know that life is short and God is still in control of life and death. He must be worshipped and we must repent and turn to Him.
As we try to minister in our feeble way to the Jarrard family this week, I pray for several things to happen:

• the family is encouraged.
• our children learn to minister to others unselfishly.
• we are all reminded of our need for The Savior.
• God is glorified and worshipped.
  

The above picture is Rachel at Nana and Peepaw Jarrard's home with her horse Wolfgang. They have been so gracious to let Wolfgang live there with them.