Parenting Grown-Ups

Well, here we are with another real adult, kind of. Sarah started working with an ambulance service in Athens as an Advanced EMT. She begins paramedic school in August.

I am more convinced than ever that parenting adult children is much harder than small children. Walking through the decision making process with her is just as hard as it has been with Hannah and Rachel.

Each child is different. They must be treated differently. Should she move out to be closer to work and school or should she commute? How should she pay for what she needs, who should she live with? She's making real life decisions.

God is faithful to guide us through His Spirit, but I am still fearful. When I am fearful of her living on her own or making long commutes after working through the night, I am trying to do God's job for Him. It's like I am telling God that He isn't able to protect her when she isn't under my roof.

She's a sensible girl who is trying to make wise decisions. I know God is faithful to His people and will work everything for their good. As we seek to love and obey Him, I'm praying that my heart will follow. It is hard on this mama's heart for her children to grow up so quickly.

But don't you think she looks too sweet to be a grown up?

Keep Going

Easter 2017

I have found that it's harder to keep going after discouragement in parenting. It's easy to say, "I've done all I could, it's up to them now." Parenting is a long road, it shouldn't stop when the children get older.

Some time ago at church, I asked all of the children who had memorized their scripture memory verses to come to me to see how they are doing. The oldest child who came was eleven and said, "Oh, I'm the only one?" and walked off. She didn't even attempt to tell me how far she had gotten.

I found it sad to think that none of the teenagers had come to say their verses. Then I realized that one of my own children was in that group. I had told her to memorize, but I hadn't followed through, I had left it up to her.

There does come a time when we have to take a step back and let them take care of themselves. But I hadn't even attempted to follow through. Parenting teenagers is difficult. They have opinions and real life needs.

A few days after that night, that particular daughter mentioned something about the verse and said she had forgotten to come to me to tell me what she memorized. Whew, I'm off the hook, right? Wrong.

Just because she did the right thing at that moment, doesn't mean I could stop doing my job.

My job may look different, but it doesn't stop. Parenting Mary is a lot different than parenting Abigail. I no longer hold her hand to ensure she pick up her toys, I don't even tell her to. (Well, I try
not to.)

Mary knows that her things need to be picked up. If she doesn't, they may disappear, and she pays the consequences. Those consequences could be the time it takes to find the lost items, having to replace the lost items or living without the lost items.

I often have to remind myself that Mary isn't as old as Hannah and Sarah and she still needs guidance. Hannah and Sarah do too, but not as often. Parenting Rachel looks different too.

But how do we parent these older girls? One particular week I was in quite a dilemma. Hannah had been very sick and I have told her many times that she shouldn't go to work. A sick teacher produces sick students. She didn't think she could miss, saying that she thought she could do it.

I had to make a decision. Was I to let her go or not? In the end, she went.  It was a decision that I had to turn over to her.

Questions about concerts, over nights at friends' houses, parties with people we don't know send me into a tailspin sometimes. Can't I just pull all of my cubs inside my bear cave? That's what I want to do!

God's mercy to our family is so evident as the girls grow. He is the one to uphold us, as well as our children. They continue to grow and will make mistakes. But God will remain faithful to the end.

Easter 2017 at Nana's house
Catherine, Sarah, Lydia, Aunt Robin, Rebekah, Mary, Hannah

Pennsylvania

We spent our Winter break with the Jarrard family in Pennsylvania. We are so grateful for their friendship and hospitality. This is definitely the best way to learn history!

Not much history here but we had a blast snow tubing!

The James River

Abi confused George Washington with George Bush, oops!

Independence Hall - Hannah wondered how anyone could not be moved to tears by visiting such palace.

Midtown Scholar in Harrisburg is the coolest bookstore we've been in.  Mary got lost in a beautiful copy of  Les Miserables.

She wanted to carry her pencil and paper and draw everything she saw. The Liberty Bell is truly beautiful in person.

"Rocky steps" lead to the Art Museum. Now that was amazing!  We saw one of the original Van Gogh Sunflowers and countless works of Monet.

On the way we stopped at a "random" church for worship. We were reminded of God's sovereignty and it was a great service.

The Amish Farms are humbling. But this peacock was "Just Plain Fancy."  Did you notice the reference to one our favorite children's books?

Valentines

I love our Valentines traditions. We eat the traditional steak and potatoes meal by candlelight with everyone. (This is the only time every year that I will buy steak.) Ray gives everyone a heart box of chocolate. He wants the girls to be treated with love all the time and it's good for them to have a tangible picture of it on a special occasion. How he treats them now is giving them a standard to expect from their future husbands.

We often draw names to give gifts to our Valentine. It's fun to see the thoughtfulness put into each gift. Rachel actually touched our dog to make a painting for Mary. (If you know Rachel, she doesn't like dogs, at all.)

This was by far the easiest "special dessert" we've ever had. I bought a Sara Lee pound cake and sliced it. Abigail used cookie cutters to make hearts and the word Love to place on a plate around fruit. Then we dipped it in melted chocolate.

Family Gatherings

Abigail loves to sit with Nana (Ray's mom) and Mr. Walter.

Hannah, Sarah, Lydia and Mary with Nana.

Papa loves to read to the littles.

Grandma (my mom) with Sarah and Brewer (my niece's son). Brewer fell in love with Sarah this visit because he found out that she's an EMT and gets to ride on an ambulance.

We had planned on having Christmas with my family at our house this New Year's but my mom got sick and couldn't travel. 

Old Salem

In early October, we made it to Old Salem, NC for a short trip to play in the field and eat way too much junk food. Some traditions are too good to stop. Every girl needs a serious game of kickball every now and then. We missed Rachel and Adrian's family with us.

Daytona Beach - Summer 2015

I've been cleaning up my blog posts and came across this. I don't know why it was never posted, but I can't wait to get back to the beach! It will be interesting to see how the beach looks after the hurricane.

A most familiar, but loved view for our family.

Abigail and Lydia

Sarah, always ready with a camera.

Sitting in the waves with this sweetie was absolute joy!

Adrian, Lydia, Hannah and Sarah spent a lot of time on the boogie boards. 

Abigail and Susannah loved playing together and had a great time!

We take almost all of our food and we LOVE Rachel's homemade cinnamon rolls.

It took Josiah most of the time that he was there but he finally learned to love the beach. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-5- "Love is patient and kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful."

When I love Christ and when I love my family I will not be irritable and rude. I will not insist on my own way. When I am rude and even think I deserve more than I'm getting, I am not loving others. I am loving myself.

It's easy to point this out to others. Whether it's Abigail touching Lydia's chair, or one daughter "borrowing" another's clothes, I can point out rudeness with great ease. 

I just can't always see it in my own heart. 

Thankfully, God has given me the mirror of my own children. Their responses to others is a
direct reflection of myself. I have to hide God's Word in my heart so that I won't sin against God, or the people He's placed in my path.

These pictures are from our staycation this past Summer. It's easy to be patient, kind, and loving while you're on vacation.

But, if I love them, I will not be rude and irritable. Christians have the greatest example in the world of how to show love. Yet, we constantly fight for our own way. We are too often irritable or resentful. Because Christ died for our sins, can't we be patient and kind?

Just Because My Grandchildren are Amazing!

Rachel had a birthday recently. I'm surprised she can be so old when I'm so young!

Susannah is the perfect granddaughter.

Every Friday morning Rachel's family gives away free coffee to passersby. They live immediately across from an elementary school.

This is just a tiny glimpse at the benefits to living so close to Rachel's family. I get to see them when they take walks. Caleb often falls asleep on the way back home. 

For Rachel's birthday we hiked to the Indian Seats in Cumming. Josiah made sure no bears attacked us.

The Epilogue

At least, I hope this is the epilogue to Sarah's broken finger.

After three weeks in a splint, she had the pins removed and was supposed to keep her fingers wrapped together and start physical therapy.

The next week she hit is on the car door and broke it again!

When the doctors tell kids not to run for a few weeks after getting a cast removed, this is what they mean. I had no idea it would be so fragile after four weeks.

Physical therapy has been stopped and her healing has been pushed back for three more weeks. I'm the mean mom now and won't let her go anywhere without the splint.

You can still see the marks from wearing the splint on her arm.

It Wasn't the Worst Week Ever

...but it's pretty close to the top of the heap.

Goals for the second week of July were to increase my exercise time and weights and focus on Vacation Bible School.

Realities -
Monday, as I stepped across the street to start the extra distance in my walking, I rolled my ankle and fell in the road. I spent the rest of the week with a sore ankle and wrist, hiding a bruise on my face and searching for clothes to wear that didn't show my skinned knees or irritate them.

After I limped home, the washer flooded the laundry room.

Tuesday was as normal as possible with laundry piling up, then Bible School at night.

Wednesday, I washed clothes the entire day because some really great friends came over and fixed the washer problem (Tuesday night AFTER VBS).

Wednesday afternoon, I took Lydia to the pediatrician because of a suspicious spot on her stomach. Suspicions confirmed, she had MRSA. I left her at home for VBS and all was going to be okay.

Right before church, Mary or Hannah sent me text that a lot of people at camp had gotten food poisoning and was very sick. (It turned out to be a four hour, violent vomiting of 115 out of 150 people at camp. Terrible four hours but when it was over, it was over.)

Then at the last game of the night at VBS, Sarah joined a relay team of army crawling because they needed one more kid. Obviously, playing with the kids was a bad idea.

A friend phoned ahead and God cleared the path so that we weren't in the ER all night and were able to see the right person to get us on the quickest road to recovery. She ended up with two breaks and one joint completely misplaced. She had surgery on Friday morning. The result was three pins in her hand, she had to postpone National Registry testing for EMT class and she was scheduled go through physical therapy.

Yes, this Summer was eventful. This particular week was crazy. But we are able to laugh at it now. Isn't it great how time puts things in perspective?

You should thank me for not sharing the MRSA pictures.

The Day I Broke Up With Facebook

My Profile Picture

Unlike Scripture, Facebook can be whatever you want it to be.

Scripture is real, unchanging, sufficient, God's Holy Word. Facebook is not.

A few weeks ago, I found myself taking pictures of my beautiful family, thinking, "Oh, how this picture is going to look on Facebook!"

Facebook has invaded my thoughts way too much. It's not Facebook's fault, it's mine. I wonder why did that person say that, or what did they mean by that, or is that pointed at me, or why are they there, or what happened to them, or etc. I also spend more time than necessary trying to decide how I will say this or that, or which picture to post, or how many is too many, or will this make someone made, or I don't want to offend anyone but I should say, you get the idea.

See how much thought goes into Facebook?

I joined Facebook many years ago so that I could keep an eye on my kids and their friends. I wanted to be a part of what they were doing. In all those years, I've learned a lot! Sometimes, I learned way more than I wanted. But, for the most part, I have enjoyed seeing them do life, get jobs, get married, have babies, or just become adults.

I've also loved getting to see friends from my childhood. And the fact that I can stay informed about the lives of people that I don't get to interact with as often as I'd like is great too.

Cover Photo

It didn't take long for me to realize that other people on Facebook only let you see what they want you to see. No one on Facebook can possibly post everything about who they are. Most only post what they want others to see and that's fine. Facebook isn't real life and no one is required to post everything about their lives.  Nor would we want that.

I'm not one of those people who get tired of seeing pictures of someone's baby or dog and then block them, nor do I delete someone because they don't agree with me. I just scroll on by. I have a deleted a few because of vulgar words and pictures (I do have small children looking over my shoulder), but it takes a lot to get deleted from my Facebook.

Since I've started writing this post, I've had a few moments that I was bothered by what someone said. In my mind I had to deal with it. Would I say something or ignore it, would I let it stew in my thoughts too long?

I chose to remember why I'm on Facebook. It's a casual interaction with others. It's not meant to control my thinking or actions. (I actually did pray for that person.) If someone wants to promote their agenda on Facebook, that's fine. Facebook is the place for that.

But that agenda will not invade my thoughts so often. It will not keep my mind off of the real focus.

So here it is -

"Facebook, I'm breaking up with you. Consider us 'just friends' from now on. We can have the casual relationship that we might speak in passing, but I will not think about you anymore than that- in passing."

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8

I used the word Facebook for the sake of this article, but insert what ever social media that you use.