Dear Church Family,
I am in my study this afternoon preparing for Father's Day. This is a great day because, God-willing, in just a little while Lori and I will have all five of our girls at home at the same time. Such times have been pretty rare in recent weeks. Though the nest has not been empty--it has been quieter this past week with Rachel, Hannah and Mary away at camp. Perhaps this was a foretaste of what the empty nest will one day feel like. Really, I hope that the nest is never quite empty but that our daughters and their future husbands will often drop off grandchildren to occupy the rooms of our home--and to make some noise.
There is a song that Amy Grant sings that has often stirred up nostalgia in my heart. The song is, "If These Old Walls Could Speak." Have you ever thought about that? What if the walls in your home could talk? Your walls would communicate times of sadness, tempers lost and unkind words spoken. That is true in anyone's home. However, in a godly home the walls would have much more to tell of laughter, joy filled days, encouraging words, wise counsel, prayer and words of thanksgiving. Perhaps the phrase that the walls would most often speak is, "I love you."
I am insufficient as a parent. My prayer as I write this is: "I love my children, help my lack of love." My love for them must often seem disguised. Too often I look down to check for phone messages or emails. Far too often my mind is weighed down with a variety of cares. Sometimes I sinfully worry. Anxiety crowds my mind and covers love. Do my children know that I love them? Can they see glimpses of love when my brow is furrowed and my smile is turned upside down? When I am stressing rather than trusting in our benevolent Father---my mouth, too often, spouts off words that can never be returned. Thank God for His mercy and for children and a godly wife that are quick to forgive.
I have been looking forward to this day for a while. The girls back at home, a nice dinner--and the very pleasant prospect of some dear friends joining us tonight. It is Father's Day (almost). In-spite of my failures--my wife and children love me and desire to show me that love. A few minutes ago I was asked, "How do you prefer your potatoes cooked?" In small things or large things--my family wants to please me.
My heart is heavy with conviction and thanksgiving for such a family. I am thankful for a family where each person reads the Scripture, seeks God in prayer and shares the gospel. Recently an unbeliever shared with me that one of my daughters had shared the gospel with them. I have heard that testimony time and again over the years. Sometimes it is face to face witnessing, other times it is email or Facebook--but I am thankful that they are seeking to share the gospel. The girls love to laugh and play. One of my favorite things about my daughters is that they admire their mom. Lori is a blessed wife, beautiful woman and godly lady. I know because I live with her. With Solomon I can say, from a gospel perspective, Lori is flawless. Though the land is filled with fair maidens--she is the fairest of all. Our daughters, at all ages, have been at her feet--watching, listening, asking questions, learning and imitating her.
My family is quick to forgive me, constant in prayer for me, long suffering in patience with me and generous in love. They are all of that by God's grace. I am a blessed man.
Are you actively working for the well-being of your husband or dad? Remember these things:
1. Prayer. He is probably facing more challenges than you know and is in constant need of God's grace.
2. Patience. God will give you grace in this area and you will have greater opportunity to influence dad/hubby. Discontentedness in the home will undercut the well-being of all who live there. Patience will strengthen the foundation and hold up the walls.
3. Forgiveness. Are you a quick forgiver? Your husband/dad needs the grace of life that breathes out forgiveness.
4. Respect. He may not be what he should be, could be, ought to be or perhaps will be--however you owe him respect.
5. Love. Love spoken, loved shown--love is the sum of all of the biblical requirements.
I must write a few words about my own dad. I have never known anyone like him. In his early 40's he had open heart surgery. That would be the first of five different open heart surgeries. He has battled heart disease, diabetes, multiple injuries and now cancer. He has never lost his hope nor his vision. Even now as he faces what may be his toughest physical battle--he is looking to Christ and planning for the future. He has never wavered in his commitment to provide for his family. There has never been a lazy bone in his body. No one has ever had to drag him out of bed or plead with him to go to work. And he has never viewed his work as a burden. He loves to work. Over the years with his health issues I have often asked him to slow down, not work so hard, etc. etc. One day--I stopped. It dawned on me that for my dad (and for any real man) work is a blessing from God--God has built us to work, to provide and to protect. In the last several years my dad has read the bible through several times and will often lead us in family worship when we are visiting. He is quick to pray. One of the things that I have grown to appreciate about dad is that he is unashamed of his children. I have often traveled with him (in his work) across the state. Place after place we would go--someone would say to me--"Oh, You are the Preacher and the author--your dad told me about you." My dad and mom will, God willing, celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary in October. I am so thankful that God in His providence brought them together a half-century ago.
Well, that is enough of my ramblings for now. Here are the lyrics from the Amy Grant song (written by Jimmy Webb)
If these old walls,
If these old walls could speak
Of the things that they remember well,
Stories and faces dearly held,
A couple in love
Livin’ week to week,
Rooms full of laughter,
If these walls could speak.
If these old halls,
If hallowed halls could talk,
These would have a tale to tell
Of sun goin’ down and dinner bell,
And children playing at hide and seek
>from floor to rafter,
If these halls could speak.
They would tell you that I’m sorry
For bein’ cold and blind and weak.
They would tell you that it’s only
That I have a stubborn streak,
If these walls could speak.
If these old fashioned window panes were eyes,
I guess they would have seen it all--
Each little tear and sigh and footfall,
And every dream that we came to seek
Or followed after,
If these walls could speak.
They would tell you that I owe you
More than I could ever pay.
Here’s someone who really loves you;
Don’t ever go away.
That’s what these walls would say.
They would tell you that I owe you
More than I could ever pay.
Here’s someone who really loves you;
Don’t ever go away.
That’s what these walls would say.
That’s what these walls would say.
That’s what these walls would say.
Since Ray is the protector of the family the girls chose to give him a sword for Father's Day. They decided to ask him to present each of their husbands a sword for a wedding gift when they get married. Sure, there isn't much dueling going on these days, but the symbolism is very clear. We didn't get a great picture of the sword, but Mary got a great hug.