Ballet Begins Again

Rachel took ballet for a couple of years when she was very young. Today, we started ballet lessons for Abigail and Susannah with one of our favorite friends. Mary Margaret has been close friends with Mary for so many years and has agreed to teach Abigail and Susannah at our home. My face hurts from smiling so much while watching these two little beauties dance with her. They looked at her like she was a queen and she treated them like little princesses.

We haven't been able to figure out a good schedule for each child to do a sport and a music or art class. With so many daughters, it's really impossible for everyone to get to do all they want. We feel like sports, music and art are all important, but it's  impossible to do everything. It takes a lot of creativity and organization to get homeschooling done as well as extra curricular activities.

We have grappled with this topic for many years as the older girls grew. I'm sure there are gaps in a lot of their learnings, but so far they seem to be doing okay. There are no easy answers to growing healthy, well-rounded, contributors to society that love and honor God. Today, we got to enjoy a little bit of the process.

Josiah watched in amazement the whole time.

Parenting Grown-Ups

Well, here we are with another real adult, kind of. Sarah started working with an ambulance service in Athens as an Advanced EMT. She begins paramedic school in August.

I am more convinced than ever that parenting adult children is much harder than small children. Walking through the decision making process with her is just as hard as it has been with Hannah and Rachel.

Each child is different. They must be treated differently. Should she move out to be closer to work and school or should she commute? How should she pay for what she needs, who should she live with? She's making real life decisions.

God is faithful to guide us through His Spirit, but I am still fearful. When I am fearful of her living on her own or making long commutes after working through the night, I am trying to do God's job for Him. It's like I am telling God that He isn't able to protect her when she isn't under my roof.

She's a sensible girl who is trying to make wise decisions. I know God is faithful to His people and will work everything for their good. As we seek to love and obey Him, I'm praying that my heart will follow. It is hard on this mama's heart for her children to grow up so quickly.

But don't you think she looks too sweet to be a grown up?

Keep Going

Easter 2017

I have found that it's harder to keep going after discouragement in parenting. It's easy to say, "I've done all I could, it's up to them now." Parenting is a long road, it shouldn't stop when the children get older.

Some time ago at church, I asked all of the children who had memorized their scripture memory verses to come to me to see how they are doing. The oldest child who came was eleven and said, "Oh, I'm the only one?" and walked off. She didn't even attempt to tell me how far she had gotten.

I found it sad to think that none of the teenagers had come to say their verses. Then I realized that one of my own children was in that group. I had told her to memorize, but I hadn't followed through, I had left it up to her.

There does come a time when we have to take a step back and let them take care of themselves. But I hadn't even attempted to follow through. Parenting teenagers is difficult. They have opinions and real life needs.

A few days after that night, that particular daughter mentioned something about the verse and said she had forgotten to come to me to tell me what she memorized. Whew, I'm off the hook, right? Wrong.

Just because she did the right thing at that moment, doesn't mean I could stop doing my job.

My job may look different, but it doesn't stop. Parenting Mary is a lot different than parenting Abigail. I no longer hold her hand to ensure she pick up her toys, I don't even tell her to. (Well, I try
not to.)

Mary knows that her things need to be picked up. If she doesn't, they may disappear, and she pays the consequences. Those consequences could be the time it takes to find the lost items, having to replace the lost items or living without the lost items.

I often have to remind myself that Mary isn't as old as Hannah and Sarah and she still needs guidance. Hannah and Sarah do too, but not as often. Parenting Rachel looks different too.

But how do we parent these older girls? One particular week I was in quite a dilemma. Hannah had been very sick and I have told her many times that she shouldn't go to work. A sick teacher produces sick students. She didn't think she could miss, saying that she thought she could do it.

I had to make a decision. Was I to let her go or not? In the end, she went.  It was a decision that I had to turn over to her.

Questions about concerts, over nights at friends' houses, parties with people we don't know send me into a tailspin sometimes. Can't I just pull all of my cubs inside my bear cave? That's what I want to do!

God's mercy to our family is so evident as the girls grow. He is the one to uphold us, as well as our children. They continue to grow and will make mistakes. But God will remain faithful to the end.

Easter 2017 at Nana's house
Catherine, Sarah, Lydia, Aunt Robin, Rebekah, Mary, Hannah

Mary and Lydia

These two beauties are growing so quickly. They have proven over and over that God is gracious to my failings. It would be easy for them to check out of life and be like the rest of the world.  My heart is often divided and parenting children such vast ages, the middle girls too often get slighted. Mary and Lydia have taken over nearly all of the household chores, all of their school, music and jobs. I rarely hear a complaint.

If you were ever at our house during the morning basket time, you may or may not see something like this.  The "spanish game" gets out of  hand sometimes and one or the other needs to use drastic measures to win. Clearly, they aren't having much fun at school. (Just kidding, but they aren't going to like these pictures being posted.)

Long-Term Parenting

"Am I living with eternity stamped on my eyes or am I living for this very moment?"

This quote is written in my prayer journal to remind me to live for eternity. I hear the mantra to live in the moment, stop and enjoy the moment, etc. That's good advice, but it's easy to look at each moment and believe that's all there is.

Parenting and homeschooling is all about eternity. It must be!

We are planning for next year and my heart was thankful to God for the men who lead the families of our group as they prayed over us. The prayers were definitely for strength and wisdom now, but also focused on the long term vision of raising children who love the One True God and will be launched out to serve Him alone.

 Raising children to become adults is hard! It's a long term job and must me seen with eternity in view.  So as I grapple with day in and day out decisions, I need to remember the long term.

These pictures of Ray and Abigail are from a wedding this past weekend. She loves her daddy!

Valentines

I love our Valentines traditions. We eat the traditional steak and potatoes meal by candlelight with everyone. (This is the only time every year that I will buy steak.) Ray gives everyone a heart box of chocolate. He wants the girls to be treated with love all the time and it's good for them to have a tangible picture of it on a special occasion. How he treats them now is giving them a standard to expect from their future husbands.

We often draw names to give gifts to our Valentine. It's fun to see the thoughtfulness put into each gift. Rachel actually touched our dog to make a painting for Mary. (If you know Rachel, she doesn't like dogs, at all.)

This was by far the easiest "special dessert" we've ever had. I bought a Sara Lee pound cake and sliced it. Abigail used cookie cutters to make hearts and the word Love to place on a plate around fruit. Then we dipped it in melted chocolate.

Old Salem

In early October, we made it to Old Salem, NC for a short trip to play in the field and eat way too much junk food. Some traditions are too good to stop. Every girl needs a serious game of kickball every now and then. We missed Rachel and Adrian's family with us.

Happy Fifth Birthday, Abigail!

Five years ago, God showed us great mercy in delivering to us this child. Abigail was born while Ray's daddy was suffering cruelly with cancer, we were getting ready for Rachel and Adrian's wedding, and  Sarah was on almost complete bed rest due to concussions. As I look bad at those days, I wonder how we survived. The presence of God's hand on us was never more real than at that time in our lives. We are so thankful to God that He chose this little princess to to be born to our family.

We got some new pieces for the playground because it's in need of an update. Adrian gave everyone a ride on the swing inside. The next day I came in and she had made a "car-sled" out of the pieces. The swing set may never get the update...

Abigail and Susannah love Frozen and play princess a lot!

It's a Birthday Party at the Rhodes House

Ray turned fifty-five in October and we did a lot of cooking. He likes lots of options on the table so for his birthday, that's what he got - fried chicken, fried eggplant, potato casserole, roasted cauliflower and zucchini, and crusty bread. Dessert was a pound cake with strawberries and homemade whipped cream. He usually likes healthy eating, but he didn't get that.

An activity he really likes is something we've been calling the read a line game. Everyone in the house gets a book that they've been reading lately and reads a line, a paragraph or a page from it. I'm always impressed by what the girls find meaningful that they want to share. I wish we did it more often.

I love that the little ones wanted to read books that they have memorized. Their sweet little voices have already gotten the hang of the sing-song rhythm of reading aloud. Josiah chose Little Blue Truck, Susannah read If You Give a Pig a Pancake, and Abi read The Red Ripe Strawberry and the Big Hungry Bear.

This is the first time Rachel and Adrian played with us and we couldn't get her to stop reading. We should probably come up with a few rules like-

• pick your portion before anyone starts
• no reading silently while others are reading aloud
• have a question or comment about each person's reading
• there should probably be a time limit too

It's a good thing to enjoy books and reading!

Ten Ways To Destroy the Imagination of Your Child

It has been a long time since I've read a book that has challenged me so. I don't know who Anthony Esolen is but I suspect our theology is a bit different. For several reasons, his book on parenting has kept me awake recently.

The style- 

I'm sure there is a literary term for the style of the book, but I don't know what it is, however, the title kind of gives it away. It is written in the opposite of what would actually be helpful to training a child. So when the author says to keep your child indoors all of the time, he actually means to keep them outside. Having so many things written in the negative, I have to stay on guard while I'm reading, asking myself, "Is this what he thinks parents should or should not do?"

The subject-

The author deals with serious pieces of literature, works of art, many languages, random types of government, and scientific methods. He gives a complete run down on how a car works using words like - cylinders, differential, universal joint. He introduces Greek gods and obscure characters in literature like they are well known friends. He discusses poetry of every genre, Augustine, and Scripture alongside Chopin and Beethoven. He makes a fine argument against organized sports and programs, but for gangs of kids playing in the streets. My brain is stretched! 

The guilt- 

I should have been doing some of this all along. Sometimes I mourn for the older girls' losses because of my lack of wisdom. As a parent, I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. I know that God takes us where we are and uses us in His own plan, but I do wish I hadn't been so ignorant when Rachel was born. I nearly starved the poor child and then gave her straight apple juice out of a bottle. God's grace and mercy to us is so obvious through those days. Now, I haven't near the wisdom that I need to continue parenting, but at least I know that I don't know what I'm doing.

*Don't worry, I'm not about to sit Abigail out the back door and make her stay for twelve hours on her own, nor am I removing her from her formal music lessons. I can't throw all safety to the wind but I am trying to consciously build her imagination.

Daytona Beach - Summer 2015

I've been cleaning up my blog posts and came across this. I don't know why it was never posted, but I can't wait to get back to the beach! It will be interesting to see how the beach looks after the hurricane.

A most familiar, but loved view for our family.

Abigail and Lydia

Sarah, always ready with a camera.

Sitting in the waves with this sweetie was absolute joy!

Adrian, Lydia, Hannah and Sarah spent a lot of time on the boogie boards. 

Abigail and Susannah loved playing together and had a great time!

We take almost all of our food and we LOVE Rachel's homemade cinnamon rolls.

It took Josiah most of the time that he was there but he finally learned to love the beach. 

Teach Them to Think

Hannah has been on a kind of crusade for all young people to think for themselves. She is challenging them to examine why they believe and what they believe. It has gotten me more than raised eyebrows from my friends.














As a first grade teacher, challenging kids comes naturally to her. As a Summer camp counselor, she got lots of opportunities. As a big sister, she is practicing on her sisters and their friends.  Her idea that teaching them to think for themselves will make their own faith stronger, or it will cause them to seek the truth.

If your "religion is good" then it can stand up under the scrutiny and the questions of your adult children. I read a quote similar to this from Francis or Edith Schaeffer or Elisabeth Elliot (I can't find the original quote.) I believe this to be true! Our faith must be based on truth, and able to withstand strong questions.

I'm truly proud of Hannah. She has completed her Masters of Education and is now in the process of teaching Susannah and Abigail how to ride the handlebars of a bicycle. (Yes, I do allow my kids to ride their bikes inside. Why not?)

It can't be said that my girls are the typical cookie-cutter homeschool, preacher kids. They consider it an accomplishment when people they meet are surprised that they actually are those things.

I want my girls to think for themselves. They shouldn't be put in a box, to look like everyone else, to sound like everyone else. And if they do those things, I want them to be able to explain why.

I love to hear them discuss real issues, sometimes. Sometimes, their "discussions" sound a little too like arguing. Because they think for themselves, they don't always agree with each other... And because their thoughts get deeper and more intelligent than mine, I've had to back out of more than one discussion.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5- "Love is patient and kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful."

When I love Christ and when I love my family I will not be irritable and rude. I will not insist on my own way. When I am rude and even think I deserve more than I'm getting, I am not loving others. I am loving myself.

It's easy to point this out to others. Whether it's Abigail touching Lydia's chair, or one daughter "borrowing" another's clothes, I can point out rudeness with great ease. 

I just can't always see it in my own heart. 

Thankfully, God has given me the mirror of my own children. Their responses to others is a
direct reflection of myself. I have to hide God's Word in my heart so that I won't sin against God, or the people He's placed in my path.

These pictures are from our staycation this past Summer. It's easy to be patient, kind, and loving while you're on vacation.

But, if I love them, I will not be rude and irritable. Christians have the greatest example in the world of how to show love. Yet, we constantly fight for our own way. We are too often irritable or resentful. Because Christ died for our sins, can't we be patient and kind?

"Are you mad?"

Abi asks me this question often. She is usually peering into my face while she asks. At her young age, she has become a reader of expressions. We all are to some extent, but I don't remember any of the other girls starting so early.

She doesn't know that she has learned Luke 6:45, but she has.

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

What's in a person's heart is going to come out. So if I am walking around with a grumpy face, Abigail is going to find out what's going on. And sometimes she will even act accordingly. It makes me sad that she knows to steer clear of me if I'm walking around with a scowl. 

But she has a special gift of doing some great things to make me smile. I need to show her the joy in my heart more often.

Just Because My Grandchildren are Amazing!

Rachel had a birthday recently. I'm surprised she can be so old when I'm so young!

Susannah is the perfect granddaughter.

Every Friday morning Rachel's family gives away free coffee to passersby. They live immediately across from an elementary school.

This is just a tiny glimpse at the benefits to living so close to Rachel's family. I get to see them when they take walks. Caleb often falls asleep on the way back home. 

For Rachel's birthday we hiked to the Indian Seats in Cumming. Josiah made sure no bears attacked us.