Pennsylvania

We spent our Winter break with the Jarrard family in Pennsylvania. We are so grateful for their friendship and hospitality. This is definitely the best way to learn history!

Not much history here but we had a blast snow tubing!

The James River

Abi confused George Washington with George Bush, oops!

Independence Hall - Hannah wondered how anyone could not be moved to tears by visiting such palace.

Midtown Scholar in Harrisburg is the coolest bookstore we've been in.  Mary got lost in a beautiful copy of  Les Miserables.

She wanted to carry her pencil and paper and draw everything she saw. The Liberty Bell is truly beautiful in person.

"Rocky steps" lead to the Art Museum. Now that was amazing!  We saw one of the original Van Gogh Sunflowers and countless works of Monet.

On the way we stopped at a "random" church for worship. We were reminded of God's sovereignty and it was a great service.

The Amish Farms are humbling. But this peacock was "Just Plain Fancy."  Did you notice the reference to one our favorite children's books?

A True Friend

Have you ever noticed in social media that when someone is having a fight with another person, they will post all kinds of stuff about it? Maybe they never post a person's name, but they'll share a meme or articles that relate to the fight. Their comments may or may not be intended to jab at the other person, but they want to make it a public, "in your face" remark. This isn't about that. This is just because I noticed recently that I have some really great friends.

We often discuss the definition of a true friend in our home. Having teenage girls means that friends come and go. I have been so grateful that God has blessed my life with the friends that I have. There are no perfect people in the world, but I may have found one friend who gets it pretty close.

L is someone that I can talk to about anything at all. She wants to discuss deep things about our savior, yet she can be silly too.

She's the lady that I can say anything to. She knows my greatest sins, and doesn't pass judgement in the wrong manner. She isn't shocked about my questions about the faith.

She doesn't let me wallow in sin. Because I know she cares about me, I'm not mad when she confronts me. She isn't going to let me gossip or wallow in self pity.

Her advice is applicable to my life. The day she told me, "if you can't worship God in the chaos that God gave you, you need to question who you worship," was life changing.

I don't have to pick up or clean up anything at all when she comes in to my house. And I don't feel the need to apologize for something that I haven't done. I'm completely comfortable with her. The last time she was at my house, she helped me fold five loads of laundry.

Her friendship isn't one-sided. If I go too long without checking on her, she checks on me. Because L understands the grace of God, she is able to freely extend it to me.

How can you be true friend? Only through a relationship with Christ. The only perfect person on earth was Christ. Proverbs 18:24 - A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Christ is that perfect friend.

L is not named because she is also really humble and would be embarrassed.

About Friends

A friend sticks closer than a brother...

Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

There are days when loneliness over whelms me. In a sea of people, we all can feel very lonely at times. What's a girl to do? Remember! God has blessed us with some amazing friends. One of the reasons I love Facebook is because I can somewhat keep up with long time friends easier. If I can't visit with them one on one, I can at least have a tiny glimpse into their lives.

The Jarrards and the Baileys have been our dearest friends over the years. We met the Baileys when they moved onto campus at seminary just over twenty-nine years ago. 

We stopped by to see the Baileys on a trip last Fall. They moved for David to pastor Cottondale Baptist Church in Alabama. David and Dawn are the friends that we can go weeks without talking to and the moment we get together, it's like we were never separated. 

The Jarrards came on to help us start our church eleven years ago and have proven to be faithful friends. The Marines moved Kevin and Kelly and their children to Pennsylvania so we made a fun trip to see them recently. 

This is Kelly and me at the top of a very tall observation tower that Abigail sprinted up at Gettysburg, PA. Abigail wasn't scared or winded, I on the other hand was both.

Dawn and Kelly are godly women whom I have often admired their marriages. They both set a great example of what a wife should be. 

Mary Turned Sixteen

In January, we celebrated a milestone in Mary's life. It was fun to do something special for her "big" birthday. We chose to have her birthday broken down into sixteen fun things that she loves spread out over a weekend.

 

It turned out to be one of the easiest birthday bashes that I can remember. (But not the least expensive.) I asked Mary for a list of some of her favorite things to do, food, restaurants, people, etc. Then I put together the list in an order that would hopefully give her fun surprises through the course of the weekend. Some things had to be done in a certain order due to scheduling. Mary didn't know anything we had planned, but by number fourteen she was guessing correctly.  I wish I could have included more of family and friends for such a momentous occasion but sometimes, things can't be helped. The older girls helped with the details and did some of the driving. 

Following is the list in order as she received each thing. 

1. manicure

2. Dunkin Donuts for coffee

3. movie

4. Hannah J.- came to the movie with her

5. Catherine- also came to the movie

6. lunch with her Daddy at Ted's, which is becoming a family tradition

7. Mary Margaret- came to supper with us

8. dress up dinner at Luna's

9. Mary Margaret spent the night

10. Nana's green beans- all of the kids love! Nana Jarrard's green beans

11. family birthday party- where the sweet words of what we love about the birthday girl come from every person
12. Gray's anatomy book- a legitimate wrapped present
13. Amazon gift card
14. Sophie-came spend the night, this was delayed due to a death in Sophie's family
15. Olivia-drove Mary to several fast food restaurants because she herself hadn't ever eaten at many of them
16. fast food frenzy-Mary loves french fries from everywhere, but especially Arby's

For a lot of people, I would recommend this kind of party over the large gatherings of friends. We've all known that awkwardness of being the odd person out in a group of people who know each other.

Some Things I Wish I Had Taught My Daughters About Sisters

This is more of my thoughts on the question raised from a young mother on how to help her daughters become close friends. I know that I still have some influence over my girls, but I wish I had started some things earlier, maybe twenty-five years earlier. In regards to their relationships with one another, we made many mistakes.

Sarah, Mary, Hannah, Lydia
Easter 2015

Looking back now, I would want to teach them to -

Love each sister for her differences, not for who they want them to be. "Thankfully there are not two of you. She is different and can compliment you. Do not try to change that. Sisters can't be friends if they are trying to make the others be who they want them to be."

Outdo each other in acts of service and love. "You can't help but love your sister when she is genuinely trying to serve you out of love for you and for Christ."

Do not dwell on what others actually do, because no one will ever work as hard as you do. (Notice the tone of sarcasm?)  "Who doesn't think they work harder than everyone else? A strong work ethic is vital in a family. Everyone has jobs, some jobs are harder than others. Children don't get to decide those jobs, parents do."

Know that each member is valuable for who they are in Christ, not for what she can do for you. "Just because your sister can be bossed around, doesn't mean that she should be. She is your sister and friend, not your servant."

Kind words are always the only way to ever speak to your sister. "Silly nicknames spoken now that could be harmful to one later should never come out of your heart (mouth.) And yes, if it's in your heart, eventually, it will come out."

These are a few principles that can be applied to our entire lives and to all people, but because our girls live in the same house, this is where they need to start with those principles.

Happy Third Birthday to Abigail!

 I couldn't choose just one of these! She plays the family princess job very well.

Susannah testing out a present to make sure it worked.

Hannah and Abi

Rachel and Abi - Abigail is free with her hugs and kisses to everyone!

Lydia and Abi

Josiah

Abigail loved the baby doll that the O'Neils made for her.

Abi with all of her best "fwiends"

Sarah and Mary were here, they just missed out on the photos this time.

Fourth of July with FriendsThe

Some friends came over and our girls made dessert - two completely different cakes but looked the same.

Lydia and two of her sweet friends.

Mary with two of her closest friends and Abigail squeezing in the picture.

And Abigail... that girl thinks everyone is her "best fwiend" and Lucas is so sweet to play with her.

They never stopped!

Glow in the dark headbands were a hit!

Hannah and Sarah share Their Birthdays

Both girls had a few local friends to come celebrate, eat, and play games. What a joy to hang out with all of these beautiful girls.

 How did they get to be nineteen and twenty-two?

 No matter how old the get they will still be silly together.

Abigail was glad to take "selfies" and "snapchat" with their friends.

Anthem Lights - "Follow Your Heart" (Official Lyric Video)

I don't usually listen to popular Christian music, because it's mostly "fluffy and feel good" type stuff, and this is too, kind of. This song is a bit too repetitive for my taste and never mentions God's name, but it is fun and I'm okay with this being on Mary's lists of songs she's listening to.  I just thought this was a fun listen for thirteen year olds (and their moms.)

I'm thankful for her sweet cousin introducing us to it and that both girls know whose heart they are to be following. God has blessed our girls with great friends and it's my prayer that their relationships outside of our home are honoring to Him. This picture is when Mary and Catherine went to a conference and concert back in the spring to celebrate their thirteenth birthdays.

A Letter to My Daughters on Getting Along

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! Psalm 133:1

Are my daughters fighting? Having trouble getting along? At odds over anything at all? No, but they have in the past and probably will be again. I wanted to take this moment to make sure they know how I feel about their relationships with one another.

The verse above was one of the first verses that I taught Rachel when she was a little girl. I wanted to be very purposeful in making sure my girls didn't fight, argue, bicker or, in general, be just plain mean to each other. They had to learn from the beginning that even though they weren't always happy with each other, they still had to love each other. They haven't always been perfect angels to each other and I don't expect them to be, but I do expect them to apply Scripture to their relationships with one another and others. But this letter is specific to them about their bonds with each other.

What does it look like for brothers, in this case, sisters to dwell together in unity?

• At three, it means giving your sister the bigger half of the cookie.
• At five, it means letting your sister have the prettiest hair bow.
• At seven, it means reading each word carefully so that your sister can pretend she can read too.
• At thirteen, it means doing your sister's part of the chores, again, when she has too much going on.
• At fifteen, it means teaching your sister how to curl her hair.
• At eighteen, it means teaching your sister to shave because your mom is too busy at the moment.
• It means laughing your head off at the dumbest inside jokes that no one else will ever possibly understand.  (By the way, who is Fred?)
• It means loving your sister's choice of a husband, even when you don't like him (at first).
• As an adult, it means weeping with your sister as she suffers her biggest losses - whether it's a job, a boyfriend, a house, a baby, a husband.....
• It means rejoicing with your sister at her greatest joys, even when you don't want to.
• It means praying for her often, encouraging and admonishing her in a way that you would want.

When you are all grown up, I won't always be around. I can't even be a part of every thing now. You must apply what you know about Scripture to your relationships. You all will face challenges so much greater than you can think of now. In the adult world, problems like not getting to start in a basketball game seem minute. Your biggest heartache will not be having to go to church with less than perfect hair. There will be really hard things that you will face. As you follow Christ and love your own individual families, remember, how good and pleasant it is for sisters to dwell together in unity.

It means NOT laughing when your sister falls off of the top of the pyramid :)