Some Things I Wish I Had Taught My Daughters About Sisters

This is more of my thoughts on the question raised from a young mother on how to help her daughters become close friends. I know that I still have some influence over my girls, but I wish I had started some things earlier, maybe twenty-five years earlier. In regards to their relationships with one another, we made many mistakes.

Sarah, Mary, Hannah, Lydia
Easter 2015

Looking back now, I would want to teach them to -

Love each sister for her differences, not for who they want them to be. "Thankfully there are not two of you. She is different and can compliment you. Do not try to change that. Sisters can't be friends if they are trying to make the others be who they want them to be."

Outdo each other in acts of service and love. "You can't help but love your sister when she is genuinely trying to serve you out of love for you and for Christ."

Do not dwell on what others actually do, because no one will ever work as hard as you do. (Notice the tone of sarcasm?)  "Who doesn't think they work harder than everyone else? A strong work ethic is vital in a family. Everyone has jobs, some jobs are harder than others. Children don't get to decide those jobs, parents do."

Know that each member is valuable for who they are in Christ, not for what she can do for you. "Just because your sister can be bossed around, doesn't mean that she should be. She is your sister and friend, not your servant."

Kind words are always the only way to ever speak to your sister. "Silly nicknames spoken now that could be harmful to one later should never come out of your heart (mouth.) And yes, if it's in your heart, eventually, it will come out."

These are a few principles that can be applied to our entire lives and to all people, but because our girls live in the same house, this is where they need to start with those principles.