Or rather, where would you like to see your daughters sit?
Several weeks ago, we had a family night for Sarah's last night night at home. We ate supper at
Atlas Pizza in Gainesville. (It was yummy and reasonably priced, by the way.)
The place was packed with lots of different types of people and groups. I have thought about that night many times since then. Our family was one one of the three obviously larger groups sitting together at one table. It was clear that we were a family with two parents and children of all ages. We had two large pizzas to share and Abigail moved from sister to sister to sit with everyone and to sample as many drinks as possible.
Another group was a table of about ten athletic girls and a coach. They weren't dressed in uniform but still clearly a team of some sort. They were interacting with one another, laughing and talking. All dressed in "regular" shorts and shirts, nothing crazy, nothing immodest, but nothing that jumped out to say "look at us." Actually, I didn't even notice they were sitting right beside us until their food was brought. They all had ordered individual pizzas and calzone type meals. (Another clue they weren't too related.)
The third large group in the restaurant nearly shut the place down when they made their entrance. A group of ten or twelve high school girls walked in to a table near the back that had been set up for them. They all looked similar, from their hair styles to their high heels. Long hair swishing, short shorts, and lacy tops. All very poised, feminine and beautiful, they were celebrating one of the girls' birthday. Immediately, several large pizzas came out, they ate and got quiet. I glanced back at the table and was struck by what I saw. Every girl at that table had her head down and a strange glow on her face. Every girl was looking down at her phone, every one! The table beside them had a set of parents and a couple of brothers. When they were done, they got up, dropped off presents at the parents' table and left in the same manner as they entered, with a grand exit.
I was so sad! Sarah actually knew the birthday girl at the the party table. I wanted to run to her and ask her how she felt. Did she enjoy the meal, did she "tweet" what a great time, or post photos to Instagram? Or was she secretly wishing someone would make eye contact with her and ask about her life?
I know social media can be a good thing, but the more I see, the more I don't like. We are alienating ourselves from the world trying to "stay connected". My family isn't that different. Abigail knows how to take a selfie, send a snapchat, and check email. (She has even made some pretty big purchases from Amazon, but I'm hoping that was an accident.)
It's so sad to me that we know more about the Facebook world than we do about our own families. We know why our friend in Washington State is angry at her local school board but aren't sure why the person in our own house is crying. What's wrong? I think we have become accustomed to looking down. Then we we do finally notice, we are shocked that no one told us. Should we have tweeted that she is hurting? Did I need to snapchat that there are serious fears in someone's heart?
Ray has talked about the posture of our country and I'm afraid it isn't getting better. It seems a little different in my own home but I'm afraid not that much different. Our family rule is for no electronics at the meal table, however, if a family member isn't there, I'll answer their calls every time. And there is a certain head of household who always sneaks his phone in to conversations. Even the girls who don't have their own phones know what's going on with their friends much more often than I think they should.
What's the solution? Should we ban all devices from our lives? I think not, even though I did hear of a well known pastor recently who doesn't even own a computer. Our only hope is Christ. Serving The Lord and Savior will change our focus.
When we focus on Christ more, we will notice those around us more. We will see an extra bounce in the step of a happy girl or the slumped shoulders of a discouraged parent. The tears that slip out won't go unnoticed either.
If I'm not checking Facebook, I might realize that the dishes didn't get done, and that wasn't because of laziness. It may be because of a struggle under hard work. I might notice my two year old doing the "potty dance" before it's too late.
Somehow the strange glow that is showing up on faces at the tables around us needs to be transformed. Focus on Christ and his Word is the only way.....
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| A walk around town included crossing Gainesville's bridge to no where. |
