How Do You Get a Smile Like That?

Give her all of the ice cream she can eat! When we go on our yearly trip to Old Salem, North Carolina we always make sure one of our meals is for ice cream at Mayberry's Restaurant. This year Abigail and Susannah realized what a great tradition it is.

Their bean and bacon soup and hot chips are the reason we go back for the second meal.

Old Salem

It's a rare thing to get all of us in the same place for an extended time. We got two nights in Old Salem to just play and enjoy our family.

New Year's Day

Some of the men were suspiciously absent when we took this picture.  I just wish that I had remembered to take  this picture before others had left.

Every seat was full.

After a break for several years, we were back in the kitchen on New Year's Day cooking barbecue sauce, pork roast, greens and black eyed peas for family. It was short notice and turned out to be a fun day that almost everyone could come to. We really missed Rachel, Adrian and Susannah this time because they were in Minnesota celebrating the holidays with Adrian's family. We did get to meet new friends and enjoy time with Kevin's mom.

Abigail got to have tea parties all day long!

Groups of family gathered everywhere to talk and just enjoy the day.

White chocolate cake with white chocolate icing decorated with Piroutte cookies.

Sisters adopted me in to add to the only one I had growing up.
Anna, Amy, Robin, Christy and me, only Tammy was missing.

Abigail was very interested in Emma's phone! (Amy's almost to be new granddaughter.)

Poor Sarah had her wisdom teeth pulled on Monday and is still not able to function. 

Something To Be Thankful For

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 

3 John 1:4

This past Wednesday our church had one of the most meaningful services that we have every year. It was our Thanksgiving service. Yes, we ate our fill of turkey, dressing, and pie, but what was most meaningful was the testimonies. We started the tradition when our church was small, only a few families, of each person having the opportunity to voice thanks to God in front of the whole group. There were so many beautiful testimonies of God's grace in so many was to the people personally, their families and our church. My heart was filled with love for the body of Christ as I heard them share.  I knew the time was coming for me to voice my thankfulness and I couldn't think of what I wanted to say.   I have so many things to be thankful for - 

• Godly husband
• Salvation
• Great friends
• Church in unity
• Family

But my mind kept going to this verse in 3 John. I am so very grateful to God that He has brought our children out of the darkness of sin and into a saving knowledge of who He is and what He has done for them. They aren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but they walk in their faith. They walk according to the truth of Scripture and try really hard to serve their gracious Savior. 

And that is what I wanted to say that am most thankful for. (I am praying diligently that He will save my sweet two year sinner, Abigail at a very young age!)

A Thankful Turkey

On November first our family started a fun way to show how thankful we are for one another. I saw an idea similar to this in magazine and adapted it to fit our family. (I think it's like the "elf on a shelf".) We have a small turkey with a note that says this:

I’m sharing this turkey with you

To let you know that I’m thankful for all you do.

But that’s not all, by far,

I’m also thankful for who you are.

Each day of this month, you do the same,

Pass along this turkey and play the game.

Hide the turkey for someone else to see,

How special they are, just like you are to me.

Write a brief note here to show what you’re thankful for.

At the end of the month together, we’ll all thank the Lord.

It has shown up all over the house and the babies who can't write are getting a little help. It's amazing how many things we have to be thankful for when we try to think about it.

Pumpkin Farm 2013

Abigail carried her own pumpkin!

I love Lydia's clear skin and freckles!

She loves her Granddaddy!

Everyone loves Susannah!

Table Sitting

Some time ago, I gave a presentation to the ladies in our church entitled, Table Sitting. Someone asked for my notes and I promised to get them to her and am just now editing them a little for others to be able read.

Table etiquette is important. My mom taught me manners, like - how to set the table properly, keep my elbows off the table, don't chew with your mouth open. I was so set on teaching my own children manners that in the beginning it became a legalistic practice of wills. I even tried to teach my own husband a thing or two. How wrong for me to presume that I could teach a grown man how to behave at the table! I forgot to enjoy my family. It is very important to teach your children to stay seated until they have been excused and not to interrupt others, but it's also a great time to enjoy the gifts that God gave you.

Every moment doesn't have to be about teaching.  Praise be to God! The psalmist just sat in praise of His God and found many things to be thankful for. How about having a time around the table to just sit and enjoy one another?

At a normal meal at our home, everyone who is home comes to the table. There may be certain times when Ray is super busy and he'll grab a sandwich and go back to his office, but usually everyone sits. There are no phones, TVs, or other gadgets at the table. If I remember to turn on music, I'll turn on very low soft instrumentals. One of the girls or I will serve up the plates mainly because we have always had small children at the table that aren't able to pass hot dishes. I would like for them to eventually learn how to do that. As far as food, everyone gets what's on the table on their plate and tastes it. I don't force eggs on everyone every morning, but for the most part, I insist they eat what I cook. We stay seated till we're done. No one is left at the table alone still eating.

As small children the big girls would always say, "I enjoyed it, may I please  be excused?" They would get it confused and it turned into, "I'm excused, may I be enjoined it?"  We have to insist on manners now, because it gets harder later.

Reading etiquette books, you could get so caught up in the rules, you would miss the point of manners. Manners is just a consideration of others. Because we love God, we must show respect to others and treat them with dignity, no matter who they are. And if we treat with dignity those we live with, then it won't be difficult to honor those special guests that show up. And it won't be so difficult to sit at a table in public with small children.

I feel strongly that as moms we are responsible to teach our children. We need to teach  them  respect and manners. I found that if my children won't obey me and respect me, with or without Ray at home, they won't respect other authority and won't respect God. Respect for me, respect for their father, respect for others begin at the table.

I used to think manners could go by the golden rule. Behave in the same way that you want to be treated. But that isn't necessarily true. Some of my girls would have no problem with another person laying on the table or crunching their ice very loudly, in fact they would love it so they could do that too. But that still doesn't show respect. Posture, demeanor, and tones are what show others respect - good posture, kind demeanor and sweet tones.

Does that mean our table times are good, quiet and kind? No, our regular family meals get very loud and very lively! We try to keep the "family meeting" type conversations for another time. Meal times may often be the only time your family is able to have a family meeting, but we will try to make it brief and upbeat if it has to be during the meal. It's probably best to call for family meetings after you've finished eating. At our table there is often uncontrollable laughter and lively debates. Ray will often read the Bible or a book that he's reading to us. Right now, we are reading a new children's book called Help Mom, There's an Armenian Under My Bed.  I'm sure that much of our family's theology has been shaped at the table. That's where we discuss sermons, books, music, relationships, life!

Practicalities of setting the table? Make it look nice. It's amazing how everyone's behavior straightens up when we sit in the dining room versus the kitchen. On special occasions, I go to extra trouble to make the table look nice. I want the girls to understand that mealtimes are important to our family and life. I like decorating the table. God made our world beautiful so it's okay to enjoy pretty things. God is creative with so many glorious colors, we should relish those colors.

Day to day- real dishes work for us because paper products are too expensive. The girls have broken very few dishes because they learned to handle them. Cloth table clothes and napkins are all we ever use. They are inexpensive and easy to make.

To decorate the table, for special occasions, the first thing I do is choose a color. That choice comes from whatever flowers are in bloom, how many people are coming, or the season. Or I might choose a theme for a party. For Adrian's birthday meal the first year he and Rachel were married I had a first knight's party. He was the first "knight in shining armor" to come along so that needed to be celebrated. For every special occasion such as a birthday, shower, graduation or such I will buy at least one roll of ribbon, or some other small trinket to decorate with. For this event, I purposely only bought two rolls of ribbon to prove that if you think futuristically about your purchases, it's very inexpensive to set a pretty table. Don't be afraid to pull things from different places in your house to decorate with. Kim might recognize some paper and ribbon from Grady's baby shower.

For Ray's mother's 60th birthday, we decorated about 12 tables with dolls, took scrap fabric to make table runners and it was very pretty. Kim's baby shower was decorated with all of Ray's old childhood toys. I loved Natalie's idea of having a children's book party for Desiree. It was beautiful, fun and so appropriate for the occasion. I use a lot of paper to make banners, place cards and other decorations. All scraps are saved so that they can be used again. If you buy ribbon, candle holders or dishes, make sure that you could use them again. Years ago, I bought these plates on the table for 50 cents each and use them all the time. You may or may not have places to store lots of sets of dishes, but if you're creative you would be surprised at how much you can do with what you have.

Buying solid colors and clear glass helps stretch your decorations. You can mix solid yellow plates for every season, black is classic and makes an occasion more formal. Thrift stores and Goodwill often have odd pieces that work well when put together. Most of these decorations will pull double duty for Father's Day this weekend. I'll add a little twine and red wrapping paper gifts and take out the lace doilies and it will be fit for the men of the house.

We don't have meals like this every week. We decorate as much as we can when someone comes over for a regular meal and our day to day meals get a set table. The main idea is to enjoy our families, teach them to respect others and lead them to worship the great God of all Creation.

Old Salem 2013

This year's trip was so relaxing that I got two full nights of sleep. It was fun to go when the weather was warm.

We enjoyed a concert on the lawns.

Abigail really wanted to get in Rachel and Adrian's family picture.

Valentine's Celebration

Every year at Valentine's, Ray cooks a special meal for the family and I get to decorate the table. The girls are learning from their dad how to be treated on a date and he has set the standard high.

I'm afraid Abigail didn't fully appreciate all the time and effort that went into the meal because she discovered the joys of animal cookies.

Lydia and I got to do some special cooking for the occasion.

Everyone gets as many squeezes as they can form Abigail and as often as they can.

Valentine's Day

Does it make a person sound more spiritual if they say, "Oh, I don't celebrate Valentine's Day - I tell my wife I love her every day," especially if they say it in a condescending tone of voice?

There are plenty of examples of celebrations in Scripture. There were many festivals - festival of booths, Harvest celebrations, David dancing before the Lord when the ark was returned to Israel, etc. It seems that it's okay to celebrate life in special ways. Today, why not say I love you in a more flowery tone with sweet aromas? (Think Song of Solomon.)

The only two examples of birthday parties in the Bible ended very badly, but that doesn't mean we aren't without excuse to celebrate life and big events. It doesn't mean you have to, only that it's okay.

This Mother's Day, try making sure your mom knows that you are grateful that she chose life. On Father's Day, be glad that your father raised you the way He did. I know there could be a lot of baggage there, but God has you where you are for a reason. Learn from it. Be grateful. Be grateful at New Year's that the calendar is still turning for you. Prepare for Resurrection Sunday ahead of time so that your family understands its implications. Glory in the colors of Spring, Summer and Fall. Be thankful for the quietness of Winter mornings.

This morning there is a bird chirping outside my window. He may not be telling the love of his life Happy Valentine's Day, but he is certainly bringing praise to His Creator. And no one can deny he is celebrating life today. So put on your pink and tell someone that you love them in an especially sweet way.

What? No Christmas Letter?

My sister half-jokingly asked in mid- December if she would get my Christmas letter in February his year. She knows I'm often behind, last year's letter went out then and this year looks to be no different. Someone rolled their eyes as if to make fun of those long letters people send out every year. I like to read up on other families' lives so sometimes I send out letters about ours too. But for this year, I didn't and don't plan to.

Cutting corners in every area of life this Christmas saved us some valuable time and money. With the cost of stamps and such I figure I saved about a hundred dollars. But that wasn't the main reason I didn't send out. I wanted to capture time better this year. So instead of time at the computer writing, time addressing envelopes, time getting pictures together- I chose to - not.  I spent more time with the girls cooking, wrapping, and doing crafts. It wasn't a lot of time, but it was more time. And any second that I couldn't squeeze out to do more meaningful things with the girls, I was chasing a very busy baby.

Abigail spent most of the holidays admiring the decorations and trying to unroll the ribbon in my gift wrap basket. In mid December, we celebrated Christmas with Grandma, and she learned that unwrapping presents could be really fun! Every present that I wrapped in a gift bag with cute tissue was thoroughly examined by her, but at least she didn't pull over any trees, break any ornaments, or eat any chocolate off of the candy tree. She had someone with her almost every waking moment watching her and enjoying her "one finger touch" everything that she could possibly get to.

While I have spent the past year trying to keep up with our family, I've kept updates as much as possible on my blog. So this year, this is the place to get our Christmas letter, that is, if you can keep up with us too.

Thanksgiving Day Pictures

Happy Birthday to Abigail and Aunt Amy! Abigail loves "singing" anytime anyone else does.

 Graham (Robin's oldest), Hannah and Aunt Christy (Ray's youngest sister)

 Mary and Catherine (Robin's second)

Just some of the men.

Josh, Corey, Graham, Lane, DJ, Ray

Robert, Timothy, Micah, Steven, Luke, Noah, Andrew

Grown up sisters often get silly too.

Christy, Robin, Amy, Anna, me, Tammy

There was some serious basketball played on Thanksgiving Day.

We didn't get a picture of the tables before we ate, but I think this is pretty typical of what most families' tables look like after a huge feasting.