Ballet Begins Again

Rachel took ballet for a couple of years when she was very young. Today, we started ballet lessons for Abigail and Susannah with one of our favorite friends. Mary Margaret has been close friends with Mary for so many years and has agreed to teach Abigail and Susannah at our home. My face hurts from smiling so much while watching these two little beauties dance with her. They looked at her like she was a queen and she treated them like little princesses.

We haven't been able to figure out a good schedule for each child to do a sport and a music or art class. With so many daughters, it's really impossible for everyone to get to do all they want. We feel like sports, music and art are all important, but it's  impossible to do everything. It takes a lot of creativity and organization to get homeschooling done as well as extra curricular activities.

We have grappled with this topic for many years as the older girls grew. I'm sure there are gaps in a lot of their learnings, but so far they seem to be doing okay. There are no easy answers to growing healthy, well-rounded, contributors to society that love and honor God. Today, we got to enjoy a little bit of the process.

Josiah watched in amazement the whole time.

It's Been a Happy Day

Adrian and Susannah had their birthdays today and it was a great day.  At every birthday meal each person tells something they love about the birthday person or a favorite memory that they have with them. It's so fun to hear how each person impacts the others!

Until Adrian came along, I always thought it would be hard to give my daughters away in marriage. I'm so thankful for who he is and how he loves his family. He takes care of Rachel and the children with the sweetest spirit. One of my favorite things I've ever heard him say to Rachel (who was pregnant at the time) was, "You're growing a human, go sit and rest. I'll do the dishes." He is always willing to serve anyone in need and is passionate about the gospel.

Susannah Joy lives up to her name. She lives life as fully as she can, giving everything she has to what she does. When she hugs, it's a full hug. When she smiles, her whole body smiles. And when she laughs, oh, what a wonderful laugh! She's a girly-girl who can play as hard as the boys.

Ray always takes the birthday kids out on their own special date. This year Susannah was old enough to go by herself. I think Ray was glad she chose Waffle House. He and Adrian will go out later, because for some reason, Adrian has a little busier schedule than Susannah.

Grandparenting

One small part of parenting adult children is helping them. We want to help Rachel and Adrian build their marriage. That means encouraging short trips away from their babies. We get to benefit from that by babysitting. See, parenting adult children can be fun:)

Spending three days with my grandchildren was exhausting! But it was also priceless! There are a few things that you forget when you have a house full of preschoolers. Here are just a few -

• to go to the bathroom.
• to sit down, anywhere.
• how to clean up, toys are everywhere.
• they give compliments differently. My favorites this time were - "I'm going to marry you," and "Here, you can have one of my guns." The sloppy kisses and uninhibited hugs are pretty amazing too.
• boys and girls play differently from each other. I know this in theory, but nothing prepares you for it until it's experienced. 

Playing balls was so fun! Life lessons were learned after all the balls were left outside over night and our dog ate them (not every piece of them, but a piece out of all of them.)

This is the first time that Susannah and Abigail finally learned to fall asleep together. I see many nights of sleepovers and giggles happening.

This picture explains it all - boys play differently than girls. I didn't tell Josiah to find a gun, he just did. 

The sofas became launching pads, the pillows landing pads, the rest of the house became every imaginable place in the universe.

Sweet Susannah

I was at the computer when I heard the front door open. Expecting her family,  I thought Rachel had walked in first. I said, "Rachel?"

Then in the most precious little voice ever, Susannah said, "Nooo, just your Sweet Susannah."

Needless to say, every person within hearing dropped what they were doing and ran to smother her with more kisses and giggles. Children know when they are truly loved. Not all are so open and free with that knowledge but it's important that they know it. Be free to pour affection on them. Usually, they will return the favor.

I truly love being Grammy to this girl and her equally sweet brothers.

Rachel bought Abigail and Susannah matching overalls and they loved them!

Children are Savages

Beautiful, adorable, amazing, made in God's image creatures, but they are still savages.

Susannah

Consider the newborn that has just emerged from the womb, the toddler who hasn't had his nap, the older child's eyes rolling... those are just a few ways that reveal the savage heart of a child.

Those little savages are slowly and gently turned into respectable grown adults. But it's a long hard process. Parents must be diligent and seek wisdom.

Going from the mother gently bouncing a crying newborn to the parent patiently listening and advising a young adult is a very long process.

For the parent it involves a laying down of themselves. To be a parent of savages requires diligence. There isn't a day when you can say, "Today I am not a parent, someone else can take care of them." Even though, I have (jokingly, of course) told my children that my parenting button is off after 9:00 pm and that I'm done with them for the night.

Sometimes parents need a break, to recharge, to breathe air that doesn't smell like dirty diapers and sweaty socks. But there is never a time that they can turn off their parenting buttons. If those buttons are paused, they and the children need to know the clear boundaries of where everyone is supposed to be and what they are supposed to be doing.

I can't tell you how many times I've failed his myself. I am praying for wisdom and the strength.

I know God has blessed our home tremendously. I am reminded that without His great mercy and grace, we would be in utter chaos.  I was told years ago that it's impossible to do this job (of parenting) without Christ. How true! Follow Christ first and foremost, He will lead you to parent your little savages.

Adrian and Josiah

Here's a few pictures of some of my favorite "savages" during our short blast of Winter. Rachel and Adrian are doing a great job of raising our grandchildren. What a privilege to be a part of their lives!

Caleb

The Comparison Game

Abigail and Susannah are growing up together. Abi is my daughter, Susannah is my granddaughter. Abigail is the aunt, Susannah the niece, at eighteen months apart, they are now four and a half and almost three. They live less than ten minutes away from each other, but always want to be at each other's house. Thankfully, Susannah's mommy and daddy are about to move their precious family three doors away from us.
They are very close, but very different. Abigail wants to know if she'll always be the oldest, the biggest, the fastest, etc. She is very competitive and wants to be the best of everything. A little competition is okay but it's the comparison game that I dislike so much.
And it starts too early. As we were walking through the Kroger parking lot, I saw with my own eyes how naturally the comparison game comes to young girls.
I had taken great pains to make the grocery shopping fun for Abigail. We parked far away from the store so that we could get beside a stall that had a bright pink "car buggy" (I think, that's a shopping cart for you Northerners:) Abigail and I had on our sunglasses and were laughing and talking as we took the long walk across the parking lot. I saw another mom, younger than me, of course, with her own cute little girl who was close to Abi's age and riding in another bright pink buggy. Now this little girl was taking in all the details. Several glances were passed back and forth. She looked at me, then at her mom. She looked at Abigail, then down at herself.
At first, I was amused, then I was a little offended. But then, I felt great sadness.  I have no idea what she was thinking. But in my mind, I felt like she was comparing her mom to me and herself to Abigail to see who measured up. Abigail actually pointed, "Hey, she has a pink buggy too." I noticed the little girl didn't have on sunglasses and wondered if that's what she was thinking about. Whatever it was, she didn't seem thrilled about it.

I stopped to take this picture. People passing by smiled, but they had no idea why I was snapping a selfie in the parking lot. I wanted to remember this moment. I want to teach my girls not to measure themselves by what they see in others.
Christ is our model. To be Christlike is the goal, not who is the cutest walking through the Kroger parking lot.

This is an easy trap to fall into. I do it all the time. I'm -

• not as smart as...
• not as cool as...
• not as neat as... 
• not as skinny as...
• not as thoughtful as...
• not as good a cook as...
• not as relaxed as...
• not as godly as... (how about that one?)

When we are constantly sizing ourselves up by the world's standards, or even the cutie walking in the parking lot, we are going to be disappointed. Christ must be our focus all of the time.

Philippians 317

"Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us."

Grandchildren Are Great!

What a joy it is to have these sweet little ones in my life! Grandchildren truly are special!

Susannah is two, Josiah is one and Caleb is due to be born in January.

I take my responsibility from Psalm 78 very seriously. We are to teach the coming generations. And Susannah just told me that I am her favorite teacher. I'm sure that'll be different tomorrow, but for today, I'll take it.

They always bring life wherever they are.

Pacemaker

After many trips back and forth to the doctor and hospital in May and June, my mom got a pacemaker put in. She is feeling much better and back to working full time. (By the way, she's seventy-four.)

On one of my trips, I got to visit with my Aunt Anne who lives in a nursing home. She  and my other aunts played key rolls in my early childhood memories. It's sweet to see these two sisters interacting, knowing all that they've been through in their lives.

During a Saturday afternoon visit, Papa got to play with the babies.

I spent too much time reading magazines, eating candy and watching Food Network and learned that the people in Macon are friendlier than I remembered.

Favoritism

The story of Jacob and Esau has always bothered me. That sounds sacrilegious doesn't it? A Bible story bothers me?

But it does. Actually, lots of Scripture should bother us, but this one...

How can God love one child more than the other? Why would he let his children know that?

Sometimes, Ray and I are accused by our children of having favorites. Recently, it occurred to me that sometimes it may seem that way. I heard a mother say once that her favorite child was the one who needed her the most.  Isn't that what part of being a mother is, fulfilling needs?

• When Rachel was so very sick and pregnant with Susannah, I couldn't think of anything but to get her food that could make her feel better.
• When we found out that Hannah was allergic to soy, every day and every bite of food was examined with Hannah in mind.  The week before Thanksgiving, my mom called every day reviewing the ingredients of various recipes to make sure that Hannah could eat everything that she wanted. (Even grandparents do it.)
• Sarah has post-concussion syndrome. Every time she bumps her head, I'm set in a panic to make sure she doesn't move or get stressed so the bump can heal properly.

Not the favorite, she just doesn't mind her picture being taken.

The story of God favoring Jacob over Esau isn't really about Jacob or Esau. It isn't about the future generations so much either.

"Though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad-in order that God's purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls - she was told, 'The older will serve the younger.' As it is written, 'Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.'" Romans 9:11-13 (emphasis mine)

Did you get that? The story is because of him who calls!

So, since we aren't God, we cannot, should not, must not choose favorites.

Love your children for who they are, not for who you want them to be, not for who you think they ought to be, but for who they are.

If they don't know Christ or are not growing in Him, pray for them, guide them, and show them the way. But do not favor one over the other.