Where Do You Want Your Children to Love to Be?

Gospel Project class

A parent told us years ago that they want their children to love to be at home and church more than any other place. We thought about that and wanted that a priority for our children as well, but we weren't sure how to make that happen.

After many years, I can say for the small children, at least, they love church! Decide the three places that you believe are the most important for your family to love to be and work to make that happen.

A few things that we have learned about getting our children to love church:

• Be there, it's not an option, go when the doors open. Be there for every service that's appropriate. Take your little girls to ladies' meetings, boys to men's meetings, if possible. Attend special events, showers, weddings, funerals, etc.
• Go with a cheerful heart. This is where we worship God, the God of great joy, comfort and peace! We are the pastor's family, believe me, we know that it's not always something you "feel" like doing.
• Go with them, do not send them, do not drop them off, they want to be with you. If you can't possibly get there, send them. 
• Stay with them. Sometimes, age graded activities are fun and helpful. Sometimes they aren't. Be with your children and talk to them, participate with them, help them understand the beauty of worshipping God.
• Sometimes, do not go with them. Yep! No one has to be at every service or activity that the church does. The regular worship services of the church are non-negotiable. But sometimes, churches may have so many programs going on that there isn't an ounce of time left for family. 

Now, I'm still working on the idea of teaching them to love being at home...

Revitalizing Bible Study

My Bible studies seem to go in seasons.

The cycles include things like - reading through the Bible in a year, chronological reading, in-depth study of one book, or devotional reading (usually during the busiest months). This past December, I was feeling discouraged and a little too laissez-faire about my Bible study/devotional time.

For Christmas, I received a copy of Paul Tripp's New Morning Mercies devotional book. It seems to speak the gospel in devotional bits to me every day.  I know that the gospel isn't about me, but about Christ. The devotions deliver the gospel as it relates to every day life, then add scripture to read. Every day's scripture readings include selections that I think, "Oh, I should add this to my list of scripture to memorize and meditate on."

The Praying The Bible concept is still as refreshing as I had hoped it would be. I am not recommending we abandon Bible study, but sometimes, we need a fresh breath. I can't wait to finish the that our ladies are reading together, Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin.

Recently, Rachel and Adrian invited our entire church over to their house. The plan was to set up tables in their front yard and everyone eat outside and play games. She was a little busier than she expected and couldn't get things as clean as she wanted.

I told her, "Don't worry about your dust, it'll make people feel more comfortable."

No one can attain perfection in their housework when they have small children. (That can't always do it without children either but it is a little easier I think.)

Have them over anyway. Make them comfortable.  I've had a few people seem relieved when they have found my house in a mess. No one can keep things perfectly clean, but that's easy to forget.

On the day that our church was to gather at their house, guess what happened?

As God would have it - Rain, and lots of it. People still came. 

We took of our shoes at the door and piled in. 

Adrian pushed the furniture against the wall and we ate together, sang together and played together. It was loud, but so fun.

Abigail and her sweet friend Karalynn held hands while they sang for a long time. The picture above doesn't show how many children there were gathered to sing together, but it was a sweet time. 

This Summer our church celebrates ten years together. I am grateful to God for the sweet fellowship.

Some Fun Christmas Events

Christmas cookies and Caroling at the Beals' home

 Church Christmas Program

Colossians Three

This Summer our church was charged to memorize the entire chapter of Colossians three. I had wanted to do something like that with the girls but the whole church setting about to do it added a little fire to the effort.

If I had just told my family, "We're going to memorize a large chunk of Scripture in the month of July." They would have attempted half-heartedly and stopped after I got tired of pushing. So with some very cute picture prompts from another mom we got busy.

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.

Our friend worked really hard to create cute images like this for the entire chapter of Colossians three. For those of us who are visual, it was a great help! And for the children who don't yet read, it became their very own book. There were also some fun nights of games and review to keep everyone going, but because of my ridiculous schedule this summer, we didn't get to any of them.

Memorizing Scripture with others is a great incentive to keep it up. I told the ladies at our Bible study that I'm sure that I have more pride than love for God. Knowing that I would be reciting it with the entire church was one reason why I was able to memorize it so quickly.

To continue the Colossians theme, the ladies of our church are studying the Bible study book Colossians and Philemon: Continue to Live in Him by Kathleen Buswell Nielson and our family is memorizing Colossians four during this year of school.

Who Happened to the Month of May Anyway?

Wow! What a busy time of the year! Every year I think that May won't be so overwhelming, but it always seems to throw me for a loop. With Mother's Day, end of the school year, graduations, a wedding, and birthdays, we have had a full month of celebrations.

It's funny the things that mark how busy you have been. Today, I found myself washing three loads of delicate clothes. That doesn't include the endless mound of tablecloths, blankets, sheets, and towels or just the regular day-to-day clothes.

I wish you could see her 37 week pregnant belly here.

On Monday morning, I slept until after nine,
only to wake up to Lydia trying to keep Abigail from waking me up. After feeding the girls, I laid down on the sofa for an hour and snuggled with Abigail. She was so glad to have my attention that she kept grabbing me around the neck and telling me sweet things like, "I love you so much, you're my best friend, you're my princess."

Tuesday was my birthday so I purposely avoided the laundry room and kitchen. I sat on the back porch, ate a piece of cake and drank a mocha latte at ten in the morning. I watched the girls shoot bow and arrows and play on the swing set. (When I woke up this morning, I wondered which train wreck went through the house.)

Lydia, likely to be in a tree or shooting arrows.

My tendency isn't to sit and relax. I have to purpose to sit still, but these few days have been nice. God gives His beloved rest, He has given us the example of rest, and we do well to follow that example as much as possible. Sitting on the front porch swing, dangling my feet and feeling the breeze is a good way to relax, remember my creator and count my blessings. It certainly helps me recharge for the days of work ahead.

Susannah knows no fear in the swing!

Looking back through pictures from this past month, I have been counting my blessings. God has provided for us in so many wonderful ways and my heart is full of thanksgiving for my big family, sweet friends and church.

Hannah, the College Graduate

She has started her life, twenty-two years ago.

I can't say how proud I am of this girl. She is diligent in her school work, loves to learn, and loves to serve God. 

Graduating from college gets lots of questions about the future. But one question that has bothered me the most has come too many times - 

"When are you going to start your life?"

That's probably a valid question for a lot of college students, graduates too, I'm sure. But not Hannah. She has worked hard to serve in our church, in a ministry near her college and our family. Besides having great grades, she participated in athletics when she was able and made life long friends.

Her graduation ceremony is Saturday, is completing her online certification course in 

Biblical counseling and has begun a "paying job" to support the ministry work she will continue. 

This theme goes along with the last post. I want to see a movement of "ordinary" Christians faithfully doing what God has called them to do. 

Singing Theology

At some point while I was pregnant with Abigail, Rachel painted the first verse of this song on a canvas for me. I hadn't heard the song, so I didn't know the tune but kept going back to it during the hard days of being pregnant.

Rock of Ages, when the day seems long
From this labor and this heartache I have come
The skies will wear out, but you remain the same
Rock of Ages, I praise your name 

Rock of Ages, you have brought me near
You have poured out your life-blood, your love and your tears
To make this stone heart come alive again
Rock of Ages, forgive my sin 

Rock of Ages, Rock of Ages
Bind your children, until the Kingdom comes.
Rock of Ages, your will be done. 

Rock of Ages, when in want or rest,
My desperate need for such a Savior I confess,
And pull these idols out from my heart embrace,
Rock of Ages, I need your grace. 

Rock of Ages, broken, scorned for me
Who am I that you would die to make me free?
To give me glory, you took the death and the pain,
Rock of Ages, my Offering. 

Rock of Ages, Rock of Ages
Bind your children, until the Kingdom comes.
Rock of Ages, your will be done. 

Rock of Ages, “It is done” you cried,
The curtain’s torn and I see justice satisfied.
Now write your mercy on my heart and hands,
Rock of Ages, in faith I stand. 

Rock of Ages, my great hope secure,
Your promise holds, just like an anchor to my soul.
And bind your children with cords of love and grace,
Rock of Ages, we give you praise. 

Rock of Ages, Rock of Ages
Bind your children, until the Kingdom comes.
Rock of Ages, your will be done.
And bind your children, until the Kingdom comes,
Rock of Ages, your will be done.

When we sing this hymn in church, I am reminded of God's great strength that He provides for His children. What we believe is important and we should sing our theology. I'm thankful to God for a time that I can worship Him with other believers. You can listen to it here.

This past week we sang I Surrender All. Memories of growing up in my home church at White Springs Baptist Church flooded my mind. I almost expected to hear Mrs. Wood belt out the echo part of the chorus. In all the years that I've been an adult there was always someone to sing the echo part, until this particular Sunday. Near the end I heard someone quietly sing the echo and was almost relieved. (Whew, a part of my childhood still lived on.) Don't underestimate the impact of teaching young children to sing theology through the hymns.

Praying

On Sunday mornings in our church we spend a lot of time praying. There is often extended time for praying for Christians who are being martyred in other parts of the world. I find myself so easily distracted during prayer and don't know how to keep my heart focused on prayer. Praying for martyrs shakes me out of my distracted thoughts which include but are not limited to-

• why doesn't Lydia wear that dress more often
• I wish I had painted my nails yesterday
• I hope Abigail doesn't need to go potty or have an accident
• I hope I remembered to turn on the oven so lunch will be ready

And that's just in my own family on my own row.  If I am not working hard to focus on prayer, my heart wanders. Being shaken by the needs of others helps bring me to the reality that I live a very easy life. I am deeply humbled when I realize my own thoughts compared to what Christians in other lands have to face. What a blessing that in this day and time right now, I do not have to wonder if my family or I will be persecuted for our faith.

Christmas Church Program

The pictures from the church program do not contain the full story. What a beautiful night it was! Though our "baby Jesus" was much bigger than the real baby she was so precious looking around at everyone, taking in the wonder of the whole night. That picture was so beautiful to me, I can imagine that the original was beyond comprehension. The whole group of kids did a great job.

Abigail the shepherd, wearing her 'bubby'.

Hannah with 'wise man' Peter and Abigail.

Adrian, Rachel, and Susannah

'Shepherds' Abigail and Karalynn

When Peter and Nadia sang "O Come Let Us Adore Him" I couldn't help but cry. It was so sweet to hear their young voices clearly calling us to worship.

'Angel' Lydia with 'Shepherd' Ethan

Something To Be Thankful For

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 

3 John 1:4

This past Wednesday our church had one of the most meaningful services that we have every year. It was our Thanksgiving service. Yes, we ate our fill of turkey, dressing, and pie, but what was most meaningful was the testimonies. We started the tradition when our church was small, only a few families, of each person having the opportunity to voice thanks to God in front of the whole group. There were so many beautiful testimonies of God's grace in so many was to the people personally, their families and our church. My heart was filled with love for the body of Christ as I heard them share.  I knew the time was coming for me to voice my thankfulness and I couldn't think of what I wanted to say.   I have so many things to be thankful for - 

• Godly husband
• Salvation
• Great friends
• Church in unity
• Family

But my mind kept going to this verse in 3 John. I am so very grateful to God that He has brought our children out of the darkness of sin and into a saving knowledge of who He is and what He has done for them. They aren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but they walk in their faith. They walk according to the truth of Scripture and try really hard to serve their gracious Savior. 

And that is what I wanted to say that am most thankful for. (I am praying diligently that He will save my sweet two year sinner, Abigail at a very young age!)

The Body of Christ

I am often amazed at the body of Christ, also known as, the church. Being a pastor's wife, I hear a lot of the needs that arise. I see what my husband does and get to hear of what others have done to help or serve. Just in the past month, I know of times when someone in our church body did things for others that were never publicly recognized. These aren't people assigned to do jobs, they just took it upon themselves to meet a need because they love Christ and His church, our church.
No one knew about -

• The men who did home repairs for a young family 
• Hours of babysitting for a new mother
• Meals, clothes, and instruction for an unwed mother of a newborn
• Hours of sitting at a jail
• Uncalculated amount of money to meet the needs of a family in trouble 
• Hours of mentoring done for a woman no one knows
• Cleaning done on the church building 
• Buying of supplies for the building

When our congregation sings our fellowship song at the end of each service, I really feel its truth.

One heart, one spirit, one voice to praise you,

We are the body of Christ.

One goal, one vision, to see you exalted

We are the body of Christ.

And to this we give our lives 

To see you glorified.

 One heart, one spirit, one voice to praise you,

We are the body of Christ.

by Scott Wesley Brown and David Hampton

So the next time I'm tempted to think nothing great is happening, I'll open my heart and look around and listen to our fellowship at Grace Community Church.

What a Christian Marriage Looks Like

With the antics from the Supreme Court's ruling on the definition of marriage what's a Christian to do? We can wring our hands and fret over the state of marriage in our country or we can do something positive.

Ed Hartman, author of Homeward Bound, says, "Few things more positively display the gospel than a God centered marriage."

The Supreme Court cannot rule against godly, biblical marital love. They may rule according to the whims and sinful desires of a nation, but they cannot rule against what God has ordained. When we take marriage seriously, the watching world will ask why. Some so called Christian marriages actually argue against marriage. The lack of joy among those who claim Christ could cause a lost person to run away from the institution of marriage. This sermon was a couple of weeks ago but I thought it has a timely message on what a Christian is to do.

Sarah Goes to Portland

Sarah's first short term mission trip seemed to be a great experience for her. Here is a note from her:

"Throughout the week we helped a church plant in Clackamas, Oregon. On Sunday morning, we helped them set up church and that night we went to worship at a Hispanic church's first ever service in Vancouver, Washington. Monday through Thursday we had basketball camp every morning. We taught them different skills in each station and at the end of the day they learned the gospel. Two thirds of the kids there were not in a church and I'm very thankful to have been a part of those kids hearing the gospel. In the afternoons we canvassed different areas of Portland and took notes on the culture and lifestyle of those who lived there. This is part of the ground work being done to prepare for more permanent missionaries or church planters that will come to live there. In the afternoons we did a lot of praying for the lost in the city. It is a little overwhelming when you actually see how blind the people living there are. When I asked one lady at a bakery what she thought of the "spiritual climate" in her area she said she hadn't grown up in a religious household and that she didn't really know what she thought- she'd never really thought about it. The way she talked was completely foreign to me... she didn't care at all. Everyone I've ever talked to about spiritual things either were clearly against it or were professing Christians. She could care less either way. I saw how dead in her sin she was and it struck me that I was once that way. It made me so thankful for the Lord softening my heart. Otherwise, I would still be just like her- blind and dead in sin. I am still praying for Portland and Trinity Church there. It's a lost place in serious need of the gospel."

Some highlighted pictures from a wonderful trip.

Sarah's first ever plane trip.

She fell in love with some sweet little girls.

White water rafting was so much fun.

The whole group out to eat.

Multnomah Falls and the mountains in the western US were quite impressive to Sarah.

Sarah lead a ball handling station.

Friendship are forged when you spend hours together for the gospel.

It Matters

Going to church with babies and toddlers doesn't always seem like a good idea. For young moms who are completely exhausted it is really hard to remember why we even bother going. I loved this article on why it matters for us to show up every time, even when we get nothing out of it. Our children are learning how to worship. They can't learn to worship with the body of Christ if we stay home and listen to sermons or have a quick prayer and devotion. They need to be in church.

Being a mom (or being a Christian) means that what we do isn't about us. Going to church with your arms full of baby isn't about you, it's about God. So while you go to church and pray that everyone there isn't staring at your child, know that God is glorified. I've been there before and I'm back there again. Sure it's a little easier when I've trained several girls already to sit quietly through church, but it's still hard. I'm there praying that God would help settle my child's heart and just make her be quiet and still. I'm the mom back at home asking my family about the sermon, wondering when I'll get to start back taking notes.

Today, I am reminded that my notebook won't always be filled with crayon scribbles and that I'll miss those days when they're gone. So I'll be encouraged to continue training Abigail to sit quietly and be praying for the other young parents training their own children to worship God.

By the way, I don't know this blogger or her theology, but I think it goes without saying that I'm not promoting a Lutheran doctrine here, just this article.

Graduation 2013

After many days of hard work, Sarah has finally graduated. The time we spent last year after her concussion made us wonder if she would be able to graduate on time.  Several weeks ago, she brought me her math book, completed. Not long after that her other  subjects were done with forever. The only thing she had to finish for the last two weeks of school was a history paper. Not only did she graduate on time, but early with honors, grades high enough to get a substantial scholarship from Truett-McConnell, where she'll be attending in the fall. The ceremony was at our church with her two sweet friends Jordan and Nicole, also homeschoolers. So many people worked really hard to make it a fun evening form them and we are grateful to God for seeing her through.

Homeschooling is Truly a Joint Effort for the Whole Family

Too Many Memories to Put in One Spot

With Grandma

Aunt Robin and Aunt Amy

Sweet Baby Sister Abigail

Prom

Sarah with the man who gladly holds her heart until her husband comes along.

It's common knowledge that our girls don't typically "date". In the past there have been a few functions that they attended in controlled and chaperoned situations. Sarah went to the prom at the school where she participates in sports with a friend from Tennessee. It was as calm and controlled of a dance that we've seen. (Yes, there were a few immodest dresses and such, but it was more gentle than walking through a typical mall.) I am so thankful that she welcomed my presence and and that her date was such a gentleman.

Sarah and her date, in the center of the picture, danced every danced and had a great time.

I know these occasions are fraught with danger. I've been reading the anti-courtship blogs lately and have known that there are a lot of dangers there too. So as we talk about dating, courtship and everything in between, we have to depend on God to help us through. Every child is different, every situation is different. We can't make too many hard and fast rules that will deal with everyone equally on this issue.

We must follow Christ's example and pray! Raising daughters in our society can be frightening. But when they love Christ and want to serve their Savior, we can rest in that. I'm not saying that just because they are Christians they can be turned over to every vice of the world, but that they can be trusted. We need to stay close to them as we let them walk in their own faith. As parents, we need to be asking probing questions of our children, and helping them walk when they need it. Sure, they don't always know when they need it and it may not be popular to step in, but it is our responsibility.

Eating at a Japanese restaurant was fun.

Young men and women need to be in many different situations where they can get to know each other. Dances reveal a lot about character and I learned some things I didn't know. Church and fellowship with the Body of Christ is a vital place to get to know members of the other sex. Service projects are great too. It bothers me to see kids' dates always consist of entertaining themselves. Serving others is a great way to see a person's work ethic. Most of all, I think the best place to get to know other kids is in the home. They need to be in our homes as often as possible for meals, serving the family, Bible times, and just hanging out. It's the place to learn how family life works and how each one responds to it.

Dressing up is what girls love to do!

Now that I have one daughter married, I am still not an expert in courtship, nor ever will be. I just have our story of how she got married. I have five other daughters whose courtships and marriages will look completely different. And I realize now more than ever my need for Help from our Sovereign God.

And Sarah is so content to be with her family and enjoy her sweet friends until God provides the man of her dreams.

Parenting Link

Our church is going through some parenting videos on Wednesday nights recently and here is the link to the introduction class. I am reminded that my sin is what causes most of my parenting failures. As I watched I was struck by a few quotes.

Gracious parenting is a rescue.
I am not the fourth member of the trinity.
I need Christ just like my child needs Christ.
The video is about twenty minutes long, but so worth the time.

As a confessed "list maker," I know that I would like a set of rules to follow- a list of parenting "dos and don'ts." Too often parenting is based on a child's good behavior. If a child is well behaved and doesn't embarrass his parents then he is a good child. Parenting that doesn't change a child's heart produces well behaved sinners on their way to Hell.

On Parenting

Parenting is hard and Ray and I struggle just like everyone else. We could play "good guy, bad guy" parenting, but everyone knows that doesn't work. Invariably, the "good guy" parent would be home alone with the child and there would be a time when the child must obey. What's the "good guy" parent to do? Let the child run wild and have her way? Or change hats and be the "bad guy" parent and come down hard?

Both parents have to work together on this. I know that it's no fun to always be the one who says no. I'm probably the stricter of the two of us and have had times of discouragement over this. It is very important to be consistent in discipline when the children are small. That makes the job of parenting easier when they are older. If parents punish bad behavior at 12 months, they usually won't have to worry about their twelve year old being completely out of control. * But it gets tiresome to be that "bad guy" parent. I want to be the "good guy" parent too. Both parents have to be consistent.

If mom continually threatens, "Just wait until your dad gets home!" and then the child gets all of his punishments, the child learns to dread dad coming home. But if mom is doling out discipline and punishment all day, and it's all play time when the dad gets home, then mom is the big meanie.
In our home, Ray is typically the easy one on the younger girls and harder on the older ones, but we have to work together. With Abigail in church, he would hold her during the song service so I would have a break to hold her during the preaching. At first, she would pass back and forth and he would walk her around. Then she started expecting to be entertained and played with during the entire church service. Now, she is doing better in church, but we have a long ways to go.

During meals, she would drop her food and cups and he would laugh it off and play with her. When he wasn't there one day, she decided to "drop" a bowl of Cheerios and milk all over me. That's when we knew, she has to know that throwing food is never an option- for either parent. Balancing grace and consistency is a huge issue for parents and I'm in the very throws of it right now. But it must be stressed that Ray and I both have to be diligent to make Abigail behave for both of us - immediately,
completely and cheerfully. 

* This is not a guarantee, just an applicable principle found in Proverbs 22:6.

When I realized how little scripture memory I had to draw on for meditation I set out to do better. I thought I was doing "good enough".  Our church is memorizing Psalm 119 together and I was tracking along with the children okay- or so I thought. As it turned out, all I knew was a random phrase here and there.  This past week has been very eye opening for me. First I thought, I'm too old to "really" memorize exactly, but I should be able to get the idea. Then I started working on it. The more I worked the easier it became.  The last five verses that I memorized were definitely easier than the first five. The brain is like so many other muscles, the more it  is worked, the stronger it gets. Now, I have the the first twenty-five verses of Psalm 119 hidden in my heart to meditate on that I might not sin against God. As we go through the year with the church, I pray that we will all be able to see fruit from meditating on God's Word. I have a long ways to go, but I'm committed to keeping on it.