Colossians 3:20-21

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

God cares about our child's feelings. He doesn't want blind obedience from children, He wants their hearts. When parents "do not provoke" they are training their children to follow God.

How do we provoke our children? I can think of so many ways -

• expectations too high
• expectations too low
• lack of attention
• attention that spoils
• not meeting needs
• giving too many material possessions
• harsh answers
• no answer at all

Hannah, Sarah, Abigail, Mary and Lydia trying to figure out how to get a group picture  in Daytona Beach. Obviously, Abigail had her own idea of how it was supposed to be done.

Parenting is hard. And when the pressure is added of knowing that we could be the source of our child's discouragement, that could lead us to withdraw from actually parenting. I have often found great encouragement in talking to other godly parents and reading great parenting books.

The theology of parenting is well explained in the Bible. We are to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Proverbs is loaded with things we are to do. Even Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me." We know that we are to shepherd our children so that their hearts are drawn to God. I don't think theology is the problem in parenting.

How do we raise our children? The practicalities of parenting can be found in so many places. We know how we were raised and can learn from that, positively or negatively. We can ask other parents,  pastors or counselors trained in parenting, lots of people can help. Books are really helpful too. My favorite parenting book is Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp.

A lot of times, a situation will arise that we need immediate help with. A three year old throws a tantrum in the grocery store, an eight year old ignores a direct command to clean his room, a teenager slams her door to make a point. Our society at large is so confused about gender and authority that it could be hard to know where to turn. There should be other parents in your circle of friends or church that you can go to ask questions.

Ask another parent to mentor you. Have them get to know you and your children so that you can send a quick text to ask for help. Be open to them telling you when something looks wrong. Spend time with them asking specific questions. Let them pour into you and your family. Every child is different and you'll need wisdom how to raise each one. But don't be afraid to say, "Hey, I need help." I wish I had asked.