Fear

Fear seems to overwhelm me some days. As I go through this pregnancy, I have moments that my eyes aren't focussed on God. Last week, I spent most of my time on the sofa, wondering and waiting again. I have been feeling the wonderful flutterings of my little one moving around, but the days she doesn't move a lot get frightening. Add to that the pains of being forty-four and pregnant and I let myself get consumed with fear. The doctor couldn't explain the pains that I was having except to say that the baby was doing great. He said it could be Braxton-hicks or stretching ligaments or multiple pregnancies or ... old age. I was not comforted by that last explanation, though seeing her on the ultrasound WAS so amazing. No matter how many pictures I see like that I am always astounded at God's creativity. These pictures were so beautiful, I felt like I could reach right in and hold her.
I am so grateful to God that He allows glimpses of His mercy through things like ultrasounds and flutterings in my tummy.