Normandy Inn of Winshape Retreat Center

As I write, Ray and I are at a pastor's and wives marriage enrichment retreat. What a joy! We've been here before and have always enjoyed it.

Ladies, take your husbands away. We live in a society with so many distractions. You could rattle off twenty things right now that are vying for your attention, anything that could separate you and your husband.

Date nights are vital! Go out or stay in, often, even weekly if any way possible. It's not uncommon for Ray and me to go out every week. Our girls think that all we do is go on dates, but that's okay. I want them to understand that my marriage comes first. That message isn't always conveyed as clearly as it should be, but that's my desire.

Marriage retreats, conferences, getaways, etc. are also important to you as a couple. When you block out a certain amount of time that says, "this is all for you," good things can happen.
You can remember why got married again.

• Learn to be friends again.
• Listen more carefully.
• Resolve an issue.
• Actually sleep.
• Talk without interruption.

We highly recommend the Winshape Retreats, but realize the cost of something like that isn't possible. It's worth any investment that's possible to get away. There are so many creative ways to save money by camping, house swapping with a couple in another location, etc. You can even turn your own home into a retreat center by being creative (cut off Internet, fill it with candles, get all take out food, anything you wouldn't normally do). The key is to make it a top priority, then make the plans.

Planning can be difficult. Young children don't understand that daddy should have a higher priority on mommy's time. But when parents love each other and have a great relationship, children benefit tremendously. Swapping babysitting duties with another family, grandparents or other couples who don't have children but would love to test out yours (hehe) are all great options for babysitting.

The time should be structured AND unstructured. If you go to a conference, the time is set for you. But you should set a schedule or some sort of ground rules for yourselves. What are you going to do with the time that isn't involved in a conference class? Talk to each other about what you would like to see happen, then write it down and make it happen.
Ideas on free time could be:

• Play games
• Take a tour
• Cook together
• Take walks
• Play a sport
• Read a book
• Memorize a passage of scripture
• Sleep
• Pick a topic of interest and learn something new 
• Watch a marriage conference

Be creative! Whatever you do, make the time count. Sometimes, we're so busy working or entertaining ourselves to death that we don't realize that we haven't even kissed our husbands for the entire day. 

Ray and I try to carve out at least one overnight per year away from home. Sometimes we even get to do more than that. It's that important! We can come up with as many excuses as anyone that I know that we don't have the time or money to get away. But it's too important not to.