Parenting - Tested

Well, it finally happened. My two year told me that she didn't love me. It was the first time any of my children had said those awful words to me.

I've never allowed the girls to say they don't love someone, their sisters, their friends, their worst enemies, and definitely not their parents. We don't use words like hate or call each other hurtful names. The girls have slipped up and said things like that but were always quick to reverse it. I know that the mouth spills out what is in the heart and they are bound to "feel" not nice ways towards others. They are also capable of self control to stop their mean words and to change the bad feelings in their hearts towards those they truly love.

This morning, Abigail was unusually bad.

She kept snatching, jerking away, demanding her own way. After she started wrestling with Mary over the iPad, I administered the "rod of correction." After it was over, I told her that I loved her and was sorry that their was sin in her heart.

Her sweet little face, stained with tears, looked up and said, "Well, I don't wove you."

I wasn't terribly bothered because I know she wasn't feeling any "wove" at the moment. We talked about honoring mommy and daddy, about saying things we don't mean, about how we really love each other.

She was very calm and deliberate when she said again, "I still don't 'wove' you."

I kept Proverbs 23:13-14 going over and over in my mind. Her heart was hard towards me and towards God's discipline for her at the moment. I was questioning everything I knew from twenty-four years of parenting.

It took almost an hour before she was able to say that she loved me, but her actions didn't show that she was feeling love towards me. That was hard to swallow for me. Even a while later when she was playing, she didn't really want to give me the "good bye" kiss while pretending to leave.

That part was crushing, like a heavy weight on my chest. The more I think about it the heavier it is.

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.Proverbs 23:13-14

Discipline and punishment are painful, to the child and the parent. But holding onto God's Word, I am confident that it is right. I guess my study of  Proverbs is being tested.