Legalism Versus Grace - Part One

In her effort to throw off legalism, she would bind others with her own form of legalism- lawlessnes.

I don't know where I got this quote from, maybe I made it up, I don't know, but every time I read it I am thankful for grace, God's grace. I see children raised in homes where legalism abounds grow up to throw off all restraints. These children have been sheltered away from culture to an extreme, given laws about dress, and heard judgements passed on anyone who doesn't live up to a certain set of rules. Every move is regulated and every motive is judged. Children from these homes often bolt the first moment they can, to anywhere they can as long as it's away from home. 

Talking to a mom who thought she somewhat fell into the throws of legalism as a parent, I was able to see her heart. She was afraid that if she didn't hold onto her children tight enough and regulate their every move enough that somehow they would be lost. She confessed that she thought her way was what would protect them and she didn't fully trust them to God's way. Now her every prayer is that they become godly. 

Her comment, "If only they would be serving God in some remote place..." struck me to the core.  How many times have I hoped and tried not to pray that God would send my children to a remote land to serve Him? If only.... I am in a place at this moment that may be considered enviable to most moms. My children are all very close, under the same roof.... today. When God moves them across town I will cry, if He moves them across the world, I will cry. But I pray that those cries will always be, "Please just make them godly."

So, as we parents do our job, we need to remember that our way is not always God's way. We must be searching the Scripture, praying for wisdom, remaining faithful to His laws and trusting God to lead our children. 

So the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good. Romans 7:12

Here is a note from someone battling the feelings of having been too legalistic:

 A little while ago (today), I was thinking about that book "Don't Make Me Count to Three" (I think that is the title). Anyway, I got to thinking about the "don't make me" part. I know it's supposed to be the parent talking, but what about the child? To some extent, as they get older, we have to stop "making" them obey and choose wisely and follow God-they have to do it because it's their choice. I've been realizing lately that in my effort to protect (control), I made their choices for them. I wonder if I didn't really teach them to make godly choices on their own. Does that make sense? I know when they are very young it's different, but as they get older giving more freedom (unlike I did) seems like a much wiser parenting choice. I have also very much been wanting a way to warn other parents of the dangers of legalism, fear, trying to be in control, etc.