Friend or Mom?

We've had this discussion before - the one about whether or not a parent can be a friend to their children.  The question was raised again. Is it okay for parents to be friends with their children? Hannah made the comment, "I don't like for moms to say, 'I'm your mom, not your friend.' Why can't they be both?" I keep thinking about that. I'm so thankful that I have a house full of girls and always a willing shopping partner, fashion consultant, taste tester, soundboard, 'friend' to be with. But sometimes I have to 'be the mom'. And I have to be careful to keep the lines from crossing the wrong way.

Notice I didn't say those lines can't cross. I said they can't cross the wrong way. It would be easy to play all the time and be 'friendly' with my children. We could have slumber parties and eat chocolate every night. But it's clear how bad that would be for them (and me.) On the flip side of that I can't be constantly laying down the law and instructing. At some point, my teaching has had to take root and they are to be using their own discernment. I'm no longer their authority, but still their mom. Our daughters' marriages are the final release of the reigns, but along the way, those strings get very loose. At twenty years old, I can't think of a recent time when I've told Hannah she had to do something. I've strongly encouraged her to do things and she does them. 


But what would I do if she said no? I told her to clean her room before she left for camp to work for the summer. What would I have done if she hadn't? Spanked her? Not let her go? That seems silly when dealing with an older child. It does raise an important question. What do you do with an older child who refuses to obey? I need to think on that for a while....