Parenting Through Failures

Let's face it, don't only call it failures or mistakes, it's sin too. I know people who give the impression that their children are perfect, I've probably done so myself. But all children sin, some sins are more visible. As they grow, it becomes evident to watchful parents how to deal with those sins. Sometimes we may have to let our children fail (or sin) in order for them to learn.

If my child fails to practice music, then she shows up not prepared at music class. She has to face the embarrassment of not being able to keep up with the other children. I shouldn't stay up late or stop the rest of the family's life to make her practice. She has to deal with the consequences herself. She learns that less than her best effort is not good. If I've had her too busy to practice, that's when I take the consequences.

What if she's able to not practice and still get by in the class? Then there are obedience and pride issues to deal with. The teacher told her to practice, and who does she think she is that she doesn't have something to learn by the practice?

This is just one example of parenting through failure. It can be applied to almost every situation. Playing outside in their good clothes, can lead to ruined clothes. A bicycle left behind the car can get run over. Goofing off near the dishwasher can get it broken (long story here). The point is, sometimes children need to fail and feel the consequences.

I've learned that I can't be with every child all the time. When Rachel was a baby, I knew her every move. I never let her fall down. When she got her first bruise, I was heartbroken. How silly of me! I'm thankful for other more mature mothers to help me see that I could not watch every step. I would never be able to teach her to walk on her own. I was crippling her by trying to protect her from failure.

There will be times that you have to step in and stop a child for their own physical protection. No one lets their child play in a busy street to teach them a lesson. But maybe, no guarantees here, you might not have to bail you child out of jail if he feels the weight of sin early on.