Finalization

About ten days ago, Aunt Thelma fell and hit her head with such a force that caused a blood clot to form on her brain. Because it was so severe, there was no hope for her to live through the damage. As we sat by her bedside for the following six days, so many thoughts went through my mind. Aunt Thelma couldn't know how close she was to dying because she never regained conscientiousness. But she was prepared. Years ago, she told Ray of how she talked to Jesus and waited for Him to take her to heaven. It was a sweet time for me to know that she was slipping closer and closer to heaven and would be at peace with her Savior. Her body would work with no pain and her mind would be perfectly clear. The girls got to visit and sing her favorite hymns one last time while she was in the hospital. I have a lot of respect for Ray's mother and father who cared for her so diligently and were with her until her dying breath. As our family went through this process I hope we were all sobered to think of our last moments on this earth and know that we will be prepared to meet Jesus when we die.
The funeral was a finalization of sorts for me. The process of grief over losing the baby and the feelings of guilt for not being able to take care of Aunt Thelma after the miscarriage were very strong. Our home has returned to its usual chaos. It is a blessing to be back to our "routine" of homeschooling, church, and ministry responsibilities. I know God had a purpose for the times that Aunt Thelma was with us and for the loss of this baby. He is faithful and whatever He does is good. Though these were deep valleys for me to cross, I will look at this past year a spiritual mountaintop experience.