|At a recent wedding|
For years, I would get so mad that Ray couldn't find his keys, phone, wallet, glasses or any combination of those things. He would walk in the house and put them down in random places, then forget where they were. He has a drawer right beside the back door to put those things in, but he often doesn't. He's intelligent, creative, compassionate and an all around great man, but he was (and sometimes still is) very disorganized.
When it would be time for him to leave the house, oftentimes he'd be rushing around looking for what he had lost. I would call out to everyone available to help find the lost item, then he could go on his way when it was recovered. If you're thinking that this post is about how to make someone else more organized, think again, it isn't. I have no idea how to help you.
But Ray's losing very important things was constantly making me mad. It took up my time, the kids' time and his time. It created unnecessary frustration.
The day that I realized that disorganization is not a sin was eye opening. It isn't a sin for him to put his things down wherever he wanted. How I responded was often very sinful! My irritation was sinful and it rubbed off on the girls. I could see their sinful eye rolls or irritations when they had to stop what they were doing to help their daddy with something so silly. After all, he's a grown man, why can't he find his own glasses?
Over the years, either, he has gotten better, or we have figured out where he is putting his things. There is less time digging, searching and scrambling than I remember. But the change may be that I realized that my job is to be his helper. Maybe focusing on what God has called me to do has shifted the big deal from his forgetfulness to my own sinful heart.
God created me to be Ray's helper.
Genesis 2:18 "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.'"So, when he says, "Have you seen my glasses?" I can respond with a cheerful heart. If I'm able to stop what I'm doing and help him, I do, and hopefully with a better attitude.
|Ray and me with some of the most adorable people in the world - Caleb, Susannah and Josiah|