Mary's Final Final Paper

Yes, that's supposed to read her final final paper. She thought that writing a major paper on the Confessions of Augustine was her final paper, but for several reasons I decided it shouldn't be. This was the last minute assignment I gave her and Lydia -

Final paper

Titled- What Did I Actually Learn?

Rough draft completed by bedtime tonight
Short
Creative but Informative
Include some subjects studied, scripture learned
Be specific, but don't get bogged down by specifics
Don't be afraid to use big words and to make it fun

This is what I received (way before bedtime). I just wish all of the girls' schoolwork was so fun to receive.

What I’ve Actually Learned This Year

            In the duration of this past rotation of the earth around the sun, I have been truly blessed to have much new and valuable information imparted upon me. I have learned much of the days from yesteryear, such as the contrivance of the complex for the disposal of excretion in ancient cities.  This data will be monumentally important for me as I pursue a career in the medicinal field. I have also burned the midnight oil in order to peruse the volume containing the Confessions of Saint Augustine, and committing to memory passages of the Holy Bible. I have performed electron configurations, trend analyses on the periodic table, and attained the information and skills to utilize burettes for the purpose of titration. I have robbed friends of punch lines; I have provided ample entertainment for the entirety of my class. However, the aforementioned activities, however epoch making they may have been for my life and the lives of everyone around me, were not the most important of the year.

            This past span of one hundred and eighty school days have taught me to exert myself in order to produce the optimal results in everything I do. I have acquired the experiences necessary to succeed in school. I am able to do what is necessary to truly fathom the information imparted to me, not just recall it for the period of time necessary to pass an exam. I have (necessarily) learned to keep my mandible bone raised to the heavens even in times of trial and tribulation. I have learned that humor is necessary to the existence of humankind. I have learned fighting for what I believe is not always necessarily quite the spanking notion I would think. Sometimes it is necessary to keep one's trap shut in order to abstain from causing conflict in the mind of someone convinced of their conjectures. However, most importantly, I have stumbled upon the way to remember the way to spell “necessary.” A shirt necessarily has one Collar, and two Sleeves!