The Gospel in Marriage

Maybe I don't write much about marriage because I feel so far from qualified. Ray and I have been married for over twenty-seven years and yet sometimes I feel like we are in our first year again. You know the first year? Everything is great one moment, but the next you are wondering who you are living with.

That's my knee jerk reaction too, "Who are you?" It's easy to jump to the fact that my husband has done something to bother me and the snowball effect begins. It would be easy for me to pile on all that he does that irritates/insults/hurts/offends me. He's human right? Just writing this, my mind begins to think of things that I could accuse him of.

Hopefully, at this point in this post, it's clear who the real sinner is in my marriage. My pride and self preservation rises it's ugly head and doesn't want to admit my own sinfulness. Yes, he has upset me and sinned against me in the past. But my response is my responsibility.

It would be easy way for me to think the way the world does. When Ray and I got married, divorce was a common solution to problems in my family. We made a commitment that the word would never be allowed in our thoughts or discussions. It would never be an option.

So I have had to come to another way to solve any problems we might have. The gospel is the only answer. Because Christ came to live a righteous life, die on the cross to save me from sins and reigns in Heaven now, I can apply that to my life. The gospel is key to making my marriage great.

How does the gospel work beyond getting me saved from Hell? Knowing what Christ has done gives me the correct response to my husband and any way he might sin against me.

• When Ray doesn't put me first? - Christ did, he died on the cross for me.
• When he doesn't pick up after himself?- Christ lowered himself to serve in the most humiliating way.
• When Ray doesn't give me what I want?- What do I deserve?

My whole being cannot be wrapped up in how I am treated in our marriage. It has to be based on the gospel. Because of Christ, I can forgive his imperfections and realize that I'm the greater sinner.

The times in our marriage that we have felt disconnected/unhappy/bored have been hard. I have wondered if I could stand it until things were right again. Every one of those times there has been a sin issue on my part as well as Ray's. When I have examined my heart and we have discussed the issues, I can see my own pride, selfishness and unwillingness to forgive prevalent.

Because of the gospel, I can repent and our marriage can be restored to better than before.