What are we to do? Flog the one causing the upset to the apple cart? How about tar and feathers? That leaves terrible images. (The John Adams BBC movie comes to mind at that moment.)
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| Rachel extending great grace about 2007. |
No, we have to remember, we too, need a little grace.
The person who has to load the dishwasher may not have time to load or may not even be home when it's time. What are going to do? Save the dishes for her? No, extend a little grace. What if we have to always load for her? Keep extending grace.
The questions get trickier as the family grows up and gets older. The situations get harder to navigate. Do we stop extending grace? No, there's plenty of grace to share even when we're old.
Are we planning ahead of time to show that kind of love to one another? If we aren't then we will fall back on whatever way we resort to "get someone back." For example, she didn't do her dishes yesterday, I'll leave mine today. Then tomorrow, it'll show her, she'll have double the work. Is that the way we really want to see our families work?
The division of chores are tiny example of how a family works. But they can be a huge indicator of where the family stands with one another. The smaller children obviously cannot scrub huge pots and pans. Would you allow the older ones to leave them for a three year old? Obviously not.
Now take that to a bigger real life issue. What would happen if the older children were constantly taking advantage of the younger? That sets them up for a life time of abusing others. Or the instances of calling names? A light-hearted "dummy" could set your child up for years of berating, belittling and looking down on others.
Back to the family, our family... As they grow older some of our girls have been able to do other things outside of the home more than others. Gifts and preferences surface that they may have that are more helpful in some areas more than others. One of our girls happens to to be better at cutting grass than the others. She is the obvious choice for grass cutting when it's time for that and the best duster gets that job. Dusting isn't always the most fun job, but that's what has to happen at the time.
But what about when one needs more sleep and time to study than another? The jobs don't line up equally, but grace is still needed.
There are many examples of running a household that come to mind that prove the need for a family to help each other and show extra grace. As I'm writing, I'm thinking of even more life issues that occur outside of our home. Issues that have required extending grace when it wasn't the desire of the heart. Grown up issues that aren't really to be shared publicly but in our family setting, reveal the heart.
As adults emerge in a home, their problems and issues get bigger. They need the same grace that was poured on them as little ones crying over a broken dish or toy. Whether it's a wrecked car, a family vacation upset, or a birthday party fiasco, we can keep loving each other because we know Christ. God only knows what is coming next!
Because we are sinners and saved by grace, we can decide now to extend grace. As our daughters get even older and have families of their own, there will be more opportunities to be faithful to that decision. How we respond to a sister "borrowing" our favorite shoes reveals the heart. Now is the time to change the heart.
And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:14
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