Hockey? Street Fighting? Golf?

At Ray's latest marriage conference I was reminded of a hard truth I had to learn. We enjoyed the company of couples who had been married for nearly 50 years, engaged couples and couples in all stages of life.

One couple we sat with at several different meal times was friends that we've known for a while. I hadn't seen J. in a long time when I bumped into her and her husband at Target a couple of months ago. We stood and chatted for a while and she told me that she had started playing hockey with her husband and some other friends.

They came to the marriage conference and we were able to visit with them more. The subject of her playing hockey with her husband came up again. (She has also started learning a type of street fighting with him too.) The real reason came out about why she's playing such tough sports. It's a great way to spend time with her husband! At 45, she has one child left at home and they wanted things to do together that would keep them connected. How amazing is that? She had only ice skated a few times before she started this, yet she's strong and healthy (but jealously thin and beautiful). I love her contagious enthusiasm for life and joy in the Lord. But I'm so thankful for this reminder. Do what it takes to spend time with your husband!

About twenty years ago a man in our church would take Ray to play golf every once in a while. He told me that I should encourage Ray to play golf more often because he could be really good. During this time, Ray would often ask me to go with him to play golf and hang out, I could even drive the golf cart if I wanted to. I always had excuses about the children, my chores, I was too busy.... Eventually, Ray quit playing golf. I always felt a little guilty about that, like if I had encouraged him he might have continued on with it. He's always been pretty active, running and going to the gym to work out. So in the past few years I've made more of an effort to go to the gym, run and do other things with him. We try to have at least one date meal a week and spend over-nighters away a couple of times a year.

This week, again, another reminder to do better to spend time with my husband came along. Rachel is a good example of this. It was her turn to plan hers and Adrian's date this week. I was impressed by how much thought and time she put into planning it. I have been thinking, "Oh, I could do that if I had more time, Ray and I use to do things like that, but we're stuck in a rut. It's much easier on me if we just go out to eat. I don't have time to cook like that and do all the extra stuff."

Reading Feminine Appeal, I am convicted to "love my husband." I love him, but do I show him love? What little extra things do I do to go out of my way to show him that I love him exclusively? It's easy to come up with excuses, but Titus 2:4 is clear about the need for women to show our husbands affectionate love. That might mean a little extra thought into date nights, meals, what we wear, play hockey or golf... Rachel left her cute little date night spot set up so Ray and I could enjoy it soon. I hope I have (ahem, make) time this week for us to do that.