Common Sense Parenting

I'm sure you've seen this played out before or maybe it's happened to you... The mommy and small child are out shopping and the mommy says that it's time to go. The child isn't ready to go so the mommy says she's leaving anyway and "pretends" to leave. The child panics then runs to obey. It doesn't matter which parent it is, where you are or the age of the child... It's a sad picture. It's manipulation on the parent's part and defiance on the child's.

When I'm out and see a small child standing alone I am going to watch to see if she is being taken care of. Yesterday, I was out shopping with Rachel when this happened again. There was obviously some concern for the child by other shoppers and sales clerks. The child started screaming and ran after what looked like her mom. The mom stopped and held out her arms. The child realized she wasn't being left then turned around to walk away from the mom. Then the mom walked away again to start the process over again. I turned to Rachel, and Adrian who had just joined us, and said, "When it's time to go, tell the child it's time to leave. If they refuse, pick them up and leave or spank them, then pick them up and leave."

No child needs the kind of threatening that they may be left alone any where. Can you imagine the fright? That isn't funny and we shouldn't train our children using fear. A healthy "fear" of punishment is okay, and the "fear of the Lord" is the beginning of wisdom. That isn't the kind of fear I'm talking about. The frightening experience of being alone in an unfamiliar place leads to insecurities that cause many problems in small children.

And no child needs to think she has that much control over a parent that she can refuse to leave when the parent has said, "Let's go." Scripture says, "Let your yes be yes, and your no be no." If you make a habit of doing what you say, your child will know you mean business when you say something. There are times when you can't live up to everything you had hoped for on certain occasions. But it's best not to make promises or statements that you can't live up to. Do what you say you're going to do and teach your child to trust your word. That isn't rocket science, just common sense parenting, and living.