A Time for Parents

When you have several small children you know the need to retreat for a little while and recharge with your husband. I have come to the conclusion that it's even more important when you have teenagers. Older kids are a great source of joy, but sometimes their needs require more deliberate action. It can also be very difficult
to finish a conversation before another drama has unfolded and needs immediate attention. I'm not suggesting you run away for days or weeks, but a hour here or there - maybe even an overnight sometimes. This is not extremely hard if you have someone you trust and if you don't abuse their help. Ray and I have been able to go out for a meal here and there more in the past few years because we have big girls in the house. Once every year or so we take a few days and go out of town alone. It usually coincides with Ray's marathon run in Nashville. Since we are celebrating our twenty year anniversary this year we made it a big deal and stayed away three nights. Our sister in law stayed with the girls and did a great job of chauffeuring, schooling and keeping groceries in the house.

The trip was wonderful for us to be able to spend uninterrupted time talking through issues and just focusing on each other. We went out to eat, went shopping, slept late and did fun stuff the whole weekend. A four day date does wonders for your marriage. Oh yeah, Ray did spend a good part of one day running 26.2 miles and I was able to get in some extra praying, reading and nail painting.

We've been looking forward to this trip since we found out that soccer season would overlap with the marathon and the girls would not be able to go. They really like to go with us when he runs in Nashville but since the big girls were obligated to the team, Ray started planning for a special getaway. Anticipation and planning was part of the fun. Ray took me shopping and encouraged me to try on everything I liked, then he actually bought me new clothes. He budgeted an amount for the trip and never mentioned that we could or should be spending the money on bills. Any time I commented on the cost of anything he just said, "This is an investment in our marriage." I think he made a great investment.

I would encourage you to plan time out with your husband. If you don't have someone to leave them with right now, plan time at home. Put them in bed early or in another part of the house. I know one friend who would put her small children in bed at 7:30 at night then she and her husband would grill out and have a great "night out." In the past we have given the girls all the popcorn they can eat and let them have a movie fest in the basement. They enjoyed the big kid time to take care of themselves when they weren't quite old enough to stay home alone. You don't have to go out to eat, picnics and walks through the woods are wonderful too. There are plenty of creative ways to spend needed time with your husband. It's easier to walk back into your home and face the barrage of requests and needs when you and your husband have had time to discuss issues and can stand together on the solutions.

The picture on the bottom is of us in the Opryland Hotel. No - we didn't stay here but went to have breakfast one morning and walk through the hotel. It's a beautiful place with gorgeous flowers, waterfalls and scenery. At the top on the right is Ray after he ran. I had to park a half a mile away over a steep bridge that overlooks Nashville. So, after a 26 mile run he had to climb to the car. He was still a good sport through the whole thing.