Childishness vs. Disobedience

Have you ever been in a situation when there is a really small child doing something very bad and everyone around him is laughing? How did you respond? As a teenager I laughed along and probably even encouraged the bad behavior. Then as a young mother I became very indignant and said, "Don't laugh at sin." To try to counter the 'sin is so cute' problem I was very strict on Rachel as a baby. She got her hand spanked every time she got close to the trash can or dog dish. Looking back now, I can see that I should have put those things away and encouraged her curiosity better. (I did allow her to play in the pots, pans and plastics cabinets.) Hannah came along and was a very busy baby who climbed on everything. I spanked for that too. Five children and many mistakes later I am seeing that there is a difference between childishness and disobedience.
Last week while we were at the school table, Lydia was being very quiet (first sign of trouble with a three year old:). She was sitting with us coloring with markers when I realized she had a bright blue Sharpie. I guess she knew quickly she had done something because she gave me her best smile, held up the marker and showed me that she had painted every fingernail on her right hand. All I could do was tell her that we are supposed to only draw on paper and then try to wash her hands. When the big girls came home she was very proud of her paint job and was quick to point out that she didn't get it on her dress or her other hand. A week later there are still tiny specks showing through.
We have all laughed at her childishness and even talked of the time Sarah marked on everything in her bedroom when she was three. I thought she was taking a nap not having a marker-fest. I can't really remember if Sarah got a spanking but I remember the bill for the painter. (Yes, it was that bad. Evidently, regular paint doesn't cover certain dry erase markers enough to keep them from bleeding back through.) There are many occasions in our home that childishness has ended up in a spankings, but we are learning. Here are a few examples:

• Breaking dishes is only punishable if you are misbehaving when they get broken.
• Standing on the back of a rocking chair, though not safe, has its own punishment when you fall off.
• Using all of your money to buy candy means you have no more money.
• If you play in the mud, someone might take your picture and use it against you.
  
• You may kick your sister if she walks in front of the swingset while you are swinging.