"Where do you find modest clothes for your daughters?"

I started writing this article several weeks ago when I was asked this question. My quick response was quick and easy, "No where and everywhere." And that begs for explanation. Then I started thinking about modesty in general, how have we done with it, have we been successful or not.... Modesty is a giant issue. Another issue is that we have known some people that to hear them discuss modesty you would think salvation is wrapped up in how modest a girl is. Girls can dress in up to date styles, cover themselves appropriately, and enjoy their clothes and still honor God. We don't have to wear my grandmother's clothes if we don't want to in order to dress modestly.

So to answer the question, "No where,"  isn't quite fair.  In general, clothing stores cater to the trends of Hollywood, and we know that's not good. Younger girls' clothing trends along with that. I don't want my girls dressing like Hollywood. I also don't want the little ones to look older than they are.

Modest clothes can be found, you just have to look harder. There are lots of websites devoted to such a thing. I just don't have time and money to spend that way. Our girls mix clothes that are found at thrift stores, hand-me-downs, and the outlet malls to come up with their outfits. They take longer than the general public to pick out their clothes so as to make sure they work, but I don't mind about that.

If I had to say one or two stores that we find the most clothes I couldn't. It's different for each of them. Ross has some better brands and good prices, the outlet mall has a few stores that we go to periodically, and Target seems to be one place we go to a lot. Places like Land's End and the Gap have clothes for little girls that don't always seem too grown up, but they can get pricey. If you keep up a close eye on your daughter's sizes you can shop their sales and online. I don't do a lot of online shopping mainly because we don't have one store we stay faithful enough to know the right size for each girl. I like The Loft by Ann Taylor for me but have to shop the clearance racks at the outlet mall.

Swim suits - are an ever painful subject. Recently, I spent about six hours away from home to try to find a bathing suit for Mary with no success. The minute we got home Ray asked, "You were gone all day and you couldn't find one thing you could live with?" (You would think he would have learned by now.) To take a young girl to try on bathing suits is so hard for her. Everything is too immodest, expensive, too "momish," too something for her body. This is an area that we usually spend way more money on than anything else. If it fits, covers everything necessary, and isn't too embarrassing for her, I'll pay almost anything for it. I'm not ashamed to say that once I paid $80 for a one piece that will never go out of style for one of the girls. For the most part, if I find any piece in our sizes at a decent price, that is somewhat modest, I'll buy it and it'll fit someone. Most of our suits consist of skirted or boy short bottoms and tankinis that go all the way to meet the bottoms.

Leggings - help lengthen dresses, but not super short ones. Dresses that you can't tell if it's a dress or a shirt are best left at the store. And it depends on which girls' legs and where she will be. Standing on the stage at church needs longer dresses than shopping or hanging out with girl friends. We tend to be stricter on the girls with shapelier legs. Some say that leggings are just an excuse to wear shorter dresses. I don't think that's always the case. It doesn't take long to get to know a girl's character and to know if she is just trying to show off her body or if she is just enjoying a pretty dress.

Camis, tank tops, and sweaters - come in every color imaginable, and we have them all here. With shirts that are too short or too low cut, girls can find things to wear under them to stretch them out. One of my girls has a very long torso for her body so she has to be super careful. Another one has a more developed chest so she has to be careful the other way. Sweaters are helpful too. They can be worn in air conditioned places and keep stray straps from showing. We actually keep a dish of safety pins at the back door to catch straps and things that we haven't caught while dressing. 

The clothes have to fit the occasion. It isn't uncommon for one of the girls to go back and change her clothes just because it doesn't seem right for what we're doing. I would wear a shorter skirt on a date night with Ray than I would going to meeting with him. It's uncommon for me to wear shorts anywhere other than here at home, to a family member's house, or to run to Kroger.

To teach girls that modesty is a heart issue is the most important thing about dressing them. When we love God and want to honor Him, we will be more thoughtful of what we wear. I have read so many articles on modesty that have been helpful and some that were just irritating. I haven't ever liked the "modest is hottest" quote. It gives the idea that you still want guys to be looking at you and lusting over you. I can't tell you how many times my girls have been shocked at how something they were wearing could cause a guy to stumble, sometimes I'm shocked too. Their dad is the best source of what's modest.  If he approves, then I don't have a problem with it. Dads need to love their girls in such a way as to let them know that they are beautiful and loved no matter what they wear. 

I don't feel completely equipped to write on modesty. I've gotten somewhere in public and thought, "Ohhh, that's not something my girls should be wearing." We've made mistakes. More than once I've had to ask one to change clothes. But I can honestly say, I think they want to honor God. They don't want to cause guys to stumble or lust over them.

Does that answer the question, "Where do you find modest clothes for your daughters?" I hope so. If not, go shopping with us. It's not an easy answer.