How to Raise Boys?

Someone asked me to recommend a book on raising boys. I told them the title of a book that I thought might be good with the caveat that I didn't agree with all of the author's theology but the book was probably okay. I think we can learn from all kinds of people, positively or negatively. Believers or not, everyone has a story that we can learn from. The problem I started thinking about my recommendation is that often when we read a Christian author we may not be as discerning as we should be. We may take for granted that since he is a Christian, what he is teaching is okay.

We found that to be the case when our two older daughters went to college. One went to a public university so we were all on our guard and knew not to expect any good theology. (She was able to find other Christians on campus to fellowship with.) The other daughter went to a private, Christian college which differs greatly from us on God's sovereignty.  The problem is that difference works its way through a lot of doctrine so we have to examine everything in light of what is true about scripture. It has helped us and our daughter to solidify what we believe and to practice discernment.

When reading any book, we also have to be on our guard. If an author has great methods for raising children, but doesn't believe that God is completely sovereign over the children's salvation, his practice may be a little skewed.  We know of Christian authors who use manipulation and scare tactics to train their children. Though they believe they are doing right, we disagree with those methods.

For example, our theology that says, God is the Only, One, True Savior leads us to witness and set an example before our children, but not "scare them out of Hell."  Because we believe that children are precious in the sight of God we are not going to set them up for failure just to get a teachable moment. Children, like us, have enough sin in their own hearts that we can be aware of to teach them as the sin arises.

I thought it was interesting that I would be asked to recommend a book on raising boys. My thinking is, "I don't know how to raise boys, but I know what kind of man I want my daughters to marry." Knowing that, I would begin with Scripture, read good books, examine other parents, and start raising men.